Thursday, 6 August 2015

Do you wish to continue...

It's all about questions isn't it?
'What should I do with my life?'
'What is my life purpose?'
'What can I do with my time that's important?'
'Do I wish to continue just as I am?'

These are questions I ask daily, mainly though: “What can I do with my time?”

I spent most of my life working in an industry that consumed me. I really believed that what I was doing was important, so it came as a real shock when I realised it wasn’t and I had frittered away my time, my life if you want, on something that really didn’t matter.

How easily we fool ourselves. Most of the people on this planet could have told me that a big yellow phone book wasn’t going to make my life fulfilled, and now I feel foolish and empty some days.

Since then I’ve spent my time filling my life with whatever I can find to fill my time. The thing is that none of the things I do make me feel that they are important either. They are just distractions to get me through the day. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not simply waiting for bedtime to come around so that I don’t have to think about filling my time for a few hours to stop me feeling foolish and empty. It doesn’t work though. I usually just end up making myself look more foolish which makes me feel emptier.

I hate feeling like this and I almost don’t know why I do. I have no pressing need to do anything, perhaps that is the problem. I should count my blessings, enjoy my freedom, relax. But somehow that isn’t the way I’m made. Or am I? I don’t know? Do I care? The bottom line is I guess that I feel guilty about adding nothing to anything and anyway anything isn't enough to drive away the nothing.

I’m told that I think too much about these things and I probably do. But it’s a way of doing something whilst doing nothing.

So the real question is – what am I going to do when winter comes?


  1. Chill? Not chillax Martin?

  2. Tricia Kitt WHATEVER
    6 August at 20:01 · Unlike · 1

    Tricia Kitt Sorry, was an addition to the ubiquitous post-its before I had read your mental regurgitation
    6 August at 20:03 · Unlike · 1

    Tricia Kitt Wanna go dancing? In Rio?
    6 August at 20:04 · Unlike · 1

    Andrew Height Off to Barbados in ten days. We'll do Rio after that. But what do I do when the days get shorter Tricia?
    6 August at 20:47 · Like

    Fraser Stewart Scotland? That'll cheer you up.
    6 August at 21:06 · Unlike · 1

    Lorna Gleadell Drink the home made wine and finish that book !!
    6 August at 21:24 · Like

    Bernadette Doyle May be do some volunteer work? Your skills could be used to help others and you may find great satisfaction in it.
    6 August at 22:22 · Like

    Tricia Kitt Dance in the dark (if Springsteen can do it...)
    6 August at 23:45 · Like

    Andrew Height Might start a new book Lorna, I have considered that Bernadette and am still considering (Mr Lloyd is the man for that), Tricia I've always been dancing in the dark.
    6 August at 23:53 · Like

    Tricia Kitt Just as long as you dance (Leeanne Rimes)
    6 August at 23:55 · Like

  3. Tim Preston Try stopping chasing what you think you should be doing. I give you permission to do nothing and see how you feel
    7 August at 00:16 · Unlike · 2

    Andrew Height Tim I really love you xx
    7 August at 00:25 · Like · 1

    Tim Preston Ha ha heart emoticon
    7 August at 00:26 · Unlike · 1

    Tim Preston The Buddha reckoned that the trouble with man was that he couldn't sit still for any length of time and empty his mind
    7 August at 00:32 · Unlike · 1

    Andrew Height Tim, there is a Buddhist temple in the Himalayas (I think )that is full of nothing and you go there to experience nothing. It can only be reached by a foot wide path with no rail above a thousand metre drop into a chasm. Achieving a state of nothing is easy. It's the journey that takes courage. This is a real temple by the way.
    7 August at 01:14 · Like

    Andrew Height Found my blog about it Tim from 2009 . Took a while, but you are worth it believe me.

    what a wonderful life...: Do nothing…
    7 August at 01:33 · Like · 1 · Remove Preview

    Andrew Height Tim, it is in here somewhere, seek and you will find. But it is a series worth watching on the path to enlightenment and nothingness. xx

    Around the World in 80 Faiths, Episode 1: "Australasia and the...
    7 August at 01:46 · Like · Remove Preview

    Tim Preston I will. I will watch this. I'm into all this "eastern stuff". I think it comes from watching David Carradine in Kung fu when I was young
    7 August at 06:55 · Unlike · 1

    Andrew Height Ah Grasshopper
    7 August at 09:18 · Like

    Tim Preston Great Suff ::-D ‘Do you hear your own heartbeat?’ -Master Po
    ‘No.’ -Young Caine
    ‘Do you hear the grasshopper which at your feet?’ -Master Po...See More
    7 August at 09:40 · Unlike · 1

    Andrew Height Tim, just rewatched episode 6 on Indian religion. You are going to love it man.
    7 August at 17:14 · Like · 1

    Andrew Height The bit I was talking about is in Episode 2 about halfway through in China Tim.
    7 August at 17:25 · Like

    David Bell I've joined the Compton Village over 60's Limbo dancing team. You have to be good to be accepted, they set the bar really high.
    7 August at 17:41 · Unlike · 2

    Tim Preston It sounds like my kinda program. I need to find a window this weekend
    7 August at 18:32 · Unlike · 1

    Andrew Height Tim the India and Asia ones are excellent. I need to watch the others. I think I may have to think seriously about my spiritual life and adopt one - which is the problem.
    7 August at 20:25 · Edited · Like · 1

    Andrew Height I'm thinking I may become Jain Tim> Where did this go by the way? I agree 'Well that's the thing. It is often better to travel than to arrive and adopt some label. It's the finding out which is enjoyable. When you decide "that is for me - that is what I am" then your mind closes and you stop learning'
    8 August at 09:40 · Like · 1

    Tim Preston Just thought I was interfering too much in your quest grin emoticon being a bloody smartass
    8 August at 09:43 · Like

    Andrew Height Your advice is always worth considering Tim. You are further down the path to enlightenment that I am I feel. Maybe we could form our own religion and call it Pno Pnuntin wink emoticon