They say that when you have no idea what to write about that it is best to just start writing and see where it takes you. So I guess this page is a bit of an adventure, I have no idea where it is leading but I’ve started out now so I’ll have to finish.Which way to go? Ah, I think I’ll walk towards that wood; I never could see the wood for the trees.
Sometimes when things get messy I just put one foot in front of the other and trudge on. It’s a lesson that I’ve learnt over this last year particularly (more about this year later once it is nearer to an end I expect). Trudging on has become my coping mechanism and defence.
No, I don’t think that this is the right path. Maybe I should forget the wood and see what’s down by the river.
So I’m writing as suggested but still have nothing to say. If you’ve got this far I won’t blame you if you head off home now. This is likely to be a bit of a meandering walk.
I stayed up late last night. I’m up to date with my glass and yesterdays bake is cooking away as I prattle. The glass seems to have caught people’s imaginations. I’ve certainly made a lot of Christmas presents and on Christmas morning husbands and wives, grans and granddads, boys and girls will open their deluxe carry boxes and find their hand-painted wine/beer/whisky/juice glass sparkling in its tissue paper wrapping.
I am such a wonderful person to be making all those people so happy.
This seems like a good path but I think I’ll go that way instead. That’s what I do when things are going well. I head off in a different direction, making it hard for myself.
Perhaps that’s what my new doodles are about. I have no idea where they are going but I know they are going to take me somewhere that I’ve not been to before. Just as I knew that when I started writing this blog - all those posts ago - that it would take me somewhere. I still don’t know why I do those drawings and mostly the making of them is – well not unconscious, but always semi-conscious. Perhaps it is the wine.
Well, this isn’t working is it? Nothing much coming out at all, not that I want it to. I’d rather wander than come out with what’s on my mind. I’d rather trudge on head down, staring at my feet and telling myself everything is okay when it isn’t. It isn’t okay at all – and I can’t do much about it. Not without losing what little of myself I’ve managed to salvage.
The wind’s at my back now. It’s blowing cold. I’m just going to take a look in that church over there. Have a sit for a bit, rest up, think, stop and see what I can come up with. Best you go your own way now. See you later.
As you'll already know, Andy, I'm rather partial to a good old wander around the dustier corners of my own mental attic myself, and sometimes it's just as well. Occasionally I like to attempt to engage with the world, but still the world remains a bewildering place and I take that path back to the rock I hide under for much of the time, and try to pluck up the courage to engage again.
ReplyDeleteSometimes this goes horribly wrong, and sometimes it's fine. Perhaps the only thing I can take from your little stroll tonight is that there are others who are in much the same boat (and it's not always the Titanic...) and that these are the times when that happy path is perhaps a good route to take, even if it's only to quietly stroll around that tiny clearing and walk right back along the path you took.
As always, it's nice to know it's there, and it's good to know that you're out there somewhere too thinking your thoughts and sharing them with us.
Take care, and keep right on at it. Those little clearings are really worth the walk. M.
Thanks Martin. Yes, sometimes you just have to sit down by the slugs and listen to them talk.
ReplyDeleteCan't be what I'm not - can't be what I am.
ReplyDeleteCan't be.