Boxing Day with Christmas day gone. Well almost, some of it remains in my doodle book, gathered over the run of the morning, afternoon, evening, and well into the early hours.
Fuelled by the day itself – the presents, and food, and candles, the fire, the chestnuts, the tree, some quiet, and some noise - helped along by a slow procession of seasonal drinks – morning champagne, a pre-dinner jaggers and taggers, red wine, port, some JD and cokes, and finally a long late night scotch on ice - a nightcap.
Yeah, as someone who was once close said to me once I lead an alcohol fuelled existence, meaning it as a jibe. Of course I don’t, and her judgement only ever took into account her own small view, a set of arse-tight tiny beliefs and standards so full of doubt and self-importance that even trust was given a probability score.
Me? 2 out of10.
Anyway, if you can’t have a few drinks on Christmas Day… Well, I just hope it all shows in the work.
Throughout the day and night – above and below the ribbon’s outer lines, segmented up – morning, afternoon, night, and very late dark; five minutes here, a flick of ink there. Thirty seconds scribbling with my new pound shop felts (thanks Santa), careful manipulation of liquid gold, a flash of silver string, some scribbled words “hello, hello, hello – merry had a little lamb”. A record of my day and night encapsulated in my mind and allowed to pour itself onto my paper in any form it and I wanted it to.
Look closely. It isn’t quite the chaos it first appears to be.
Oh look – a Christmas tree!
My Christmas Day present to myself – all wrapped up in red ribbons and silver string.
A memory and a freedom and such a precious freedom. Fuelled by alcohol? Well maybe a little, but what great fuel and what a great memory.
Tin cans and Christmas day presents 2011 – for your pleasure and mine.
I envy you your Christmases, Andy, I truly do...
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have managed to - or at least you successfully convey the impression that you do anyway - keep hold of the joy in them that some of us managed to lose long ago.
Well done. You remain an inspiration to us all.
Season"s Greetings. M.
Oh, I have my moments Martin - good and bad. But for me the trick is remember all the good times of Christmases pat, smile, don't allow yourself to be baited, and drink steadily and consistently across the day - not so much as to get drunk though.
ReplyDeleteAnd lastly - be kind to yourself and those around you but find some time, a few minutes to make your own and reflect.
Anyway, one of my better ones.
Woken up with that terrible feeling of dread and hopelessness which I always get between Christmas and the New Year. The weeks leading up to Christmas seemed so positive, now the dreams are back and the episodal waking and even things I haven't worried about for ages are back to worry me.
ReplyDelete