I’m comely and I knowest it...

It never fails to amaze me how many days there are. Yes, I know that there a 365 in a year but it seems like there simply aren’t enough to go around.

Today is Earth Day but it’s also Oklahoma Day, Girl Scout Leader Day, National Jelly Bean Day, World Book and Copyright Day, Lover’s Day, National Zucchini Bread Day, Take a Chance Day, World Laboratory Day, National Cherry Cheesecake Day, Movie Theatre Day and best of all Talk Like Shakespeare Day – well, it is his birthday and of course it's an American thing.

I wonder if Shakespeare would have been a playwright if he had been alive today. Maybe he'd have been a pop star instead, after all he was always chasing the money. 

Yea, a star of pop, a balladeer... here goest it, thee may knowest the ditty…

I’m comely and I knowest it.

by Will I Am Shakespeare

Yea when I walk on by a maiden fair,

I feel her blushing gaze doth follow me,

And rest upon my ample derriere,

Which clad in an’mal print much tempteth she.

I’m in a Speedo tryin’ t’ tan my cheeks

And every passing lass is on me soon.

I know it is my codpiece that they seek,

For I have passion in my pantaloons.

O wench I bid thee look upon that body -

The normal rules of sexy it doth flout.

Aye, thou wilt quite agree it be not shoddy;

I’ll have thee know ’tis ’cause I oft work out.

I’m proud of my great rump and would fain show it.

I tell thee, maid, I’m comely and I knowest it.