Monday 21 June 2010

Who, why, and what for?

As some of you will know by now, I have a thing about stones - pebbles, standing, balanced. I can't resist any of them and it seems that I’m not the only one with this preoccupation. Either there’s a band of time travelling Neolithic stone raisers doing the rounds or there are people who still feel the need to raise stones for one reason or another, but who, why, and what for?

Modern stone circles can be found littered all over Wales. A stone circle is an integral part of any National Eisteddfod and the Gorsedd, the council who oversee the ceremonies, proclaim the next eisteddfod by holding a ritual at its centre. The circle consists of twelve large stone pillars surrounding a large, flat-topped stone called the Logan Stone; it’s from here that the Archdruid directs proceedings. Facing the Logan stone, directly east, is the Stone of the Covenant where the Herald Bard (and not, disappointingly, Indiana Jones) stands. Behind the Covenant Stone are the Portal Stones, guarded by long-robed Eisteddfod stewards, one, to the right of the entrance, points to midsummer sunrise, and another, to the left, points to midwinter sunrise.

The circle above is in Porthmadog, taken one frosty morning last January - there are others at Pwllheli and Bangor, and dozens of others all over North and South Wales. The North and South take it in turns to hold the eisteddfod, alternating every other year.

Eisteddfods explain the stone circles that have popped up all over Wales in the last 150 years or so, but what about these stones on the roundabout at the Trafford Centre outside the office where I work, or this dolmen type arrangement in a field on the A487? Neolithic builders returned from the mists of time? Workmen and bored farmers with too much time on their hands with diggers and tractors? Or roaming druids looking to expand their eisteddfod empire beyond the borders of Wales?

I like to think the former, how about you?

8 comments:

  1. Careful. It's probably a trap set by Darleks, Cybermen, Sontarons, Autons, Silurians, Judoon, Atraxi, Zygons and other assorted baddies.

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  2. I was trying to avoid alien conspiracy theories and stick with something more realistic. So - time travelling druid warrior priest kings it is then.

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  3. You have it your way, but when you are trapped in the Pandorica don't come crying to me.

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  4. You know I will Liz - after all who else understands the spacial time-warp continuem that I'm locked in?

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  5. still as mad as the proverbial hatter then Tank. I've not been well but you still make me lagh.

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  6. Hi Andy, the stones that sit on the Trafford Centre roundabout were the brain child of Chap called Gabriel Mahone.
    The son an Irish Labourer and Ancoat's prostitute. Gabriel decided fairly early on in his life to make for more adventurous and
    fruitful pastures. As Gabriel is often quoted as saying 'I left brutality to find beauty' However the brutality of his father left it's mark.
    One time soldier of fortune and notorious gun runner. Gabriel spent the greater part of his twenties running around West
    Africa killing people, mainly innocent women and children. However by his thirties Gabriel was feeling the pressure.
    International War crimes bureau were trying to get him extradited from Zimbabwe for his imaginative excesses when
    dealing with prisoners. Not that Gabriel let his enforced stay in Zimbabwe go to waste. No certainly not, instead he
    helped the Mugabe regime, still in it's infancy to procure weapons. Gabriel found this line of work so rewarding that
    he decided to expand his enterprises to several brutal regimes across Africa and South America.
    In order to keep his eye in so to speak he would help the Zimbabwe secret police extract information from
    unfortunate prisoners. Mahone was by this time the most well known ex pat in Africa. He could torture
    someone to death in the morning only to appear at the Harare Press club for lunch in the guise of the friendly
    slightly dodgy 'I can get you anything you want' raconteur that the press hacks love.
    A day at the Harare races was a non event for the Foreign diplomatic community if the friendly, gun-runner chose
    not to honour your group with his witty company. As Gabriel once described to a dear friend of mine. 'Earlier in the afternoon I had the
    pleasure of torturing and killing a young lady who's Father was the Ugandan commissary. That evening at a Press club function
    I drank Champaign with him and he had no idea what had happened'

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  7. Alan Spence continued:

    But time was running out for Gabriel. On a gun running adventure to Honduras Gabriel was discovered by British agents skulking behind some crates
    in the hold of a cargo plain. The UK government decided that the wealth of knowledge that Gabriel had accumulated whilst in Zimbabwe would be useful
    to them and decided to ask that war crime charges against him be dropped on the grounds that he was helping various regimes combat
    international terrorism.
    Gabriel fell from the radar for nearly 5 years only to appear in Manchester at his dads funeral. Gabriel had done rather well for himself. The diamonds and gold that he had managed to procure over the years in West Africa were unlocked from the safety of there Swiss bank accounts.
    Gabriel did not have to work but decided to build a long distance haulage company just to keep him occupied..
    The death of his father was to have a deep and profound effect on Gabriel, he found religion. First it was the Catholic church, Gabriel would often say 'With such wealth I could rule the world' Then it was Buddhism he loved the gold statues. He desperately wanted to visit the great gold statues of Buddha in Thailand but one of the conditions for his parole was that he could never leave UK soil again.
    Gabriel would often describe his trucks as a little bit of him travelling across the world.
    As Gabriel grew older he reflected on the many people he had torture and murdered and he regretted the pleasure that he had derived from it.
    However His new found faiths could not take away the guilt.
    Fortunately for Gabriel help was on its way, on a visit to Wales Gabriel noticed that the country side was littered with stone circles.
    This intrigued him so much he set out to find out more information on the strange often isolated standing stones. Within the Year Gabriel had been elected to the Eisteddfod as a minor Bard. Many senior bards who had been passed over for election felt that some kind of skullduggery was at hand.
    He had found his Shangri-La. Gabriel imagined the stones as his victims, their soles locked inside, they were now his friends and he could visit them when ever he felt regret for what he had done to them. Two years went by and Gabriel managed to get himself elected High Druid. The previous incumbent have been hit by a truck whilst out walking his dog. Gabriel's election however was not the joyous occasion it should have been as the three other contenders for various reasons had all died in the most unfortunate circumstances. One was found dead in the bath by his wife, his radio had fallen in and electrocuted him. The other two were killed whilst travelling to an Eisteddfod on the Llyne Peninsular. There car ran head on to an articulated lorry, they were killed instantly.
    Gabriel in his new tenure now decided to launch a nationwide stone circle building programme, hence the stones on the Trafford Centre island.
    Gabriel drives by the stones every day when going to and from his haulage company offices, he only lives in Boden.
    Lovely man you should meet him, He has calmed down a lot now, wicked sense of humour. He does the most amazing Druid parties.

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