I have just entered an alcohol free zone and I may be here for some time, five days at least.
Yes, at long last I’ve got round to visiting the dentist about my tooth and, on inspection, she told me that I have all the makings of a pretty little abscess under one of my top molars and that the infection had spread to my gums which was why I was in pain.
Now this wasn’t exactly a revelation, I’ve had these things before – twice, but I managed to avoid retorting ‘no shit Sherlock.’ Well, she did have a stainless steel pointy prodder thing in her hand and my tooth was only millimetre or two, and a quick poke away, had she decided to take offence.
Apparently I had two choices: she could remove the tooth or treat it with antibiotics, although (and here’s the disclaimer, yes, always read the small print) there were no ‘guarantees’ that the tooth wouldn’t need to come out eventually.
Again I was tempted to mention Mr Holmes, but she still held the prodder in her hand, so once again I thought better of it, bit my tongue, and elected for antibiotics.
She broke the news as she was writing the prescription (by hand, no system print-out nonsense for her); I must avoid alcohol for at least five days.
I asked her to define what she meant by avoid and alcohol. Surely not wine?
Yes, she meant wine.
How about cider, one that was below 5%?
Yes, cider as well.
She just looked.
No alcohol at all then?
She nodded sagely.
For a moment I considered asking her to get out her pliers and pull the tooth instead. Five days without a drop of alcohol? It simply wasn’t possible. Five days? That was almost a whole week!
I lay there in the chair. What was I to do? Surely I could go five days without a drink. I can’t remember the last time that happened (actually I can’t remember the last time I went 24 hours), but five days wasn’t so long… was it?
Anyway, this is day 1.
I’ll let you know how it goes.