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So we’ve had a couple of sunny days and it’s been quite warm at times. Yes, Summer is just around the corner and… wait a minute! What is that awful smell? Where has the sun gone and where’s that thick… cough… black… cough, cough… smoke coming… cough… from?
It can’t be… not already... Oh my God, yes it is!
WARNING – WARNING – Barbecue alert, barbecue alert! Take cover!
Yes the barbecue season is almost upon us and we are getting ready with real anticipation for the… wait for it… (Drum roll)…we are getting ready for… (Build drums)
It can’t be… not already... Oh my God, yes it is!
WARNING – WARNING – Barbecue alert, barbecue alert! Take cover!
Yes the barbecue season is almost upon us and we are getting ready with real anticipation for the… wait for it… (Drum roll)…we are getting ready for… (Build drums)
‘The First Barbecue of the Year.’ (Start trumpet oratory - fade drums – cut.)
How grand that sounds – the phrase not the music, the music isn't real, it's in your head, suggested by the words you've just read.
I quite enjoy the occasional barbecue – a homemade burger, some grilled fresh mackerel, a steak, a kebab, even the odd langoustine - BURP! - Pardon me. How delicious barbecued food can taste on those light, warm summer evenings with a glass or two of wine. Yes, I think that it would be fair to say that I enjoy the occasional barbecue – however, there is a certain person in our household who would eat barbecued food three-six-five days a year, for lunch, dinner, and even breakfast - and it isn’t me.
My wife Gaynor absolutely loves barbecued food – in fact she loves all things barbecue; the barbecue, the tongs, the thermometer, the barbecue fork, the coals, the smoke - she has just about every barbecue gadget you can imagine, and then some. She spends hours preparing huge amounts of food for the barbecue, sometimes we have up to a dozen or so individual courses just so can cook for four or five hours at a time over the naked coals. I think she enjoys the preparation and the cooking more than the food – we have dozens of barbecue tables, tons of barbecue briquettes, and box after box of firelighters in our barbecue shed in Wales.
Yes, we really do have a barbecue shed and it would be fair to say that Gaynor is a barbecue freak - but obviously not to her face.
Over the years we have barbecued in the rain (under an umbrella), in our front garden, in our porch, in the dark, on the beach, up a mountain, in a gale, in a field, even in the snow – and now – thanks to our latest barbecue purchase – we will be able to barbecue indoors (allegedly).
We have bought a Cobb.
How grand that sounds – the phrase not the music, the music isn't real, it's in your head, suggested by the words you've just read.
I quite enjoy the occasional barbecue – a homemade burger, some grilled fresh mackerel, a steak, a kebab, even the odd langoustine - BURP! - Pardon me. How delicious barbecued food can taste on those light, warm summer evenings with a glass or two of wine. Yes, I think that it would be fair to say that I enjoy the occasional barbecue – however, there is a certain person in our household who would eat barbecued food three-six-five days a year, for lunch, dinner, and even breakfast - and it isn’t me.
My wife Gaynor absolutely loves barbecued food – in fact she loves all things barbecue; the barbecue, the tongs, the thermometer, the barbecue fork, the coals, the smoke - she has just about every barbecue gadget you can imagine, and then some. She spends hours preparing huge amounts of food for the barbecue, sometimes we have up to a dozen or so individual courses just so can cook for four or five hours at a time over the naked coals. I think she enjoys the preparation and the cooking more than the food – we have dozens of barbecue tables, tons of barbecue briquettes, and box after box of firelighters in our barbecue shed in Wales.
Yes, we really do have a barbecue shed and it would be fair to say that Gaynor is a barbecue freak - but obviously not to her face.
Over the years we have barbecued in the rain (under an umbrella), in our front garden, in our porch, in the dark, on the beach, up a mountain, in a gale, in a field, even in the snow – and now – thanks to our latest barbecue purchase – we will be able to barbecue indoors (allegedly).
We have bought a Cobb.
"A what?" I hear you ask...here's the blurb... ‘The Cobb is a revolution in home and outdoor barbecue cooking. You can use the Cobb for baking, barbecues, frying, roasting and smoking - whatever your ...’ Shall I go on?
Not that we needed another barbecue… we have a lot of barbeques already – big ones, small ones, some still in boxes, some that fold away flat, others that are built into chiminieres. Goodness knows how our other poor barbeques are going to feel about this new admission to their ranks, I’m sure that they will be very concerned about their futures.
Anyway, Gaynor is determined to give our new barbecue a go over the weekend, and nothing - and I really do mean nothing - is going to stand in her way.
I’ll let you know how we get on. Wish me luck.
Not that we needed another barbecue… we have a lot of barbeques already – big ones, small ones, some still in boxes, some that fold away flat, others that are built into chiminieres. Goodness knows how our other poor barbeques are going to feel about this new admission to their ranks, I’m sure that they will be very concerned about their futures.
Anyway, Gaynor is determined to give our new barbecue a go over the weekend, and nothing - and I really do mean nothing - is going to stand in her way.
I’ll let you know how we get on. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure if this is one of those urban myths but I think I heard on the radio.
ReplyDeleteIt was probably Radio 5 Live which I have started to listen to recently in preference to Radio Four. I'm not sure why I changed allegiance, it was a gradual thing; probably prompted by the 'Today' programme's unrelenting diet of doom & gloom. I'm not blaming the excellent John Humphrys for this- after all he can hardly be held responsible for the credit crunch & Middle Eastern strife. It's just that 5 Live offers some tabloidish respite from the serious matters of the day.
Anyway, back to the subject of barbecues. It must have been Nicky Campbell who informed the 5 Live Breakfast listeners about the woman who bought one of those disposable barbi' kits from Tescos. She had no doubt been attracted by the eye catching if slightly dated packaging. This showed a happy gathering tucking in to a hearty spread lovingly prepared by the person who used to be described as the head of the household. If the story is to be believed, the day after her purchase the long suffering staff of the customer care desk at Tesco were confronted by the same disgruntled lady. She demanded a refund. Having assembled her friends & family for the keenly anticipated feast she had discovered to her disgust that the chicken wings, sausages, burgers & no doubt the lobster tails were all missing from the product. I have no idea how the Tesco people dealt with this after they finished rolling around on the floor but I hope they carefully pointed out that however misleading the packaging may have been, it should have been bleeding obvious to anyone that an un-refrigerated product for the price of £2.99 was unlikely to have contained the anticipated culinary delights.
Unfortunately, as with many of these tales there is serious doubt regarding its authenticity. Not the sort of story to have ever been broadcast by Mr Humphrys on his esteemed 'Today' programme.
You should start blogging - what an excellent tale.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately though, that woman was my wife.
How very dare you! I challenge you to a duel!
I agree with AKH - I think you have excellent potential as a blogger Lloydy, go for it it's very therapeutic if not a little addictive.
ReplyDeleteThat's the trouble with addicts they always try to get others hooked...me I'm too lazy.
ReplyDeleteI can't see the joy in BBQing - I find cooking indoors a chore so why would I want to add cooking out of doors to my list of things to do. Do like other people BBQing for me though!
ReplyDelete