If you're not on the list...

With the start of a New Year and spring just around the corner (yeah right) it feels like it’s time for a little spring cleaning. This year I am definitely going to sort it all out – declutter, detox, simplify, create some space. It’s time for some adjustment, a little fixing. Maybe even clarity.

Yes, clarity is the thing.

Of course you can find clarity if you are living inside a world where the white noise buzzes all around you and the interference clouds your view... and that brings me to Facebook.

Now I’m not sure that I’d rush up to anyone who had just told me that their cat had just been run over and shout “LIKE”, but it seems to be okay on FB. In the real world I’d rarely knock at my neighbour’s door with a plate of food and say: “Look at me dinner. Great isn’t it. Would you like to comment?” Generally I don’t look at photos of other people’s dogs sitting, running, sleeping, eating dinner, and/or wearing funny hats, or their holiday snaps, or pictures of their children sitting, running, sleeping, eating dinner, and/or wearing funny hats, or their new wallpaper, or their cats sitting, running, sleeping, eating dinner, and/or wearing funny hats, or their tropical fish doing absolutely bloody nothing.

So much white noise, too much interference, I need a little clarity.

And that brings me to friends and unfriending.

I have too many Facebook ‘friends’ and it seems to only add to all the noise. Of course the term ‘friend’ in this instance is tenuous, better maybe to call them people I have friended or who have friended me. Strange, a few years ago friended would have needed a ‘be’ in front of it to make it a word, but not any more.

It’s time for a cull.

Now normally I wouldn’t rush up to someone and shout ‘I’m not your friend any more’ (well I might, but not to everyone). But some of these friends are ghosts; some of them literally and others by their absence in the ether. I’ve struggled with the idea of severing all ties to these people (even the deceased ones) and after some thought have come up with unfriending criteria that allows me to keep a clear conscience.

1. The friend is dead

2. The friend hasn’t posted on Facebook for a year so might as well be dead.

3. The friend hasn’t commented on a single status or blog post I’ve posted for a year and I might as well be dead as far as they are concerned.

4. The friend has turned out to be a tit and should be dead.

Fortunately there are very few of the latter and if a friend meets any of the first three criteria they aren’t going to notice anyway. I’m taking it a day at a time, losing one friend a day to be sure that I give it some thought and don’t get carried away.

So here goes. Hello and goodbye. Maybe.