Holiday clothes…

How does the song go? “I’m going where my weather suits my clothes"? Well, if that’s the case then it looks like I’m going to Smethwick or Leeds or one of those dreary Welsh villages where it always seems to be raining or completely concealed by fog.

Yes, the UK isn’t the best place on earth to show off your summer wardrobe, which in my case consists of a pair of shorts, some flip-flops, and a couple of T-shirts. Mind you, the UK summer is usually so brief that that it’s more than enough. Perhaps that’s why we are all so keen to go abroad.

Which brings me to holiday clothes… you know the things I’m talking about; the clothes that we normally wouldn’t be seen dead in, but simply have to have for the holiday. Why is it that we decide that the blues, blacks, browns, and greys that we usually wear simply won’t do, and rush to purchase clown clothes? Even worse, it seems that the sunnier the clime we are jetting off to, the brighter and more garish our holiday clothes become.

Who doesn’t have a horrendous Hawaiian shirt at the back of his wardrobe or a ridiculously light coloured pair of pastel linen trousers - the ones with the drawstring waist? I once bought a straw panama for my holiday which I teamed with an off-white cotton jacket and a pair of almost matching baggy pants. Did the man from Del Monte say yes? Well, he did say something, but I didn’t quite catch what it was.

It’s even worse when it comes to women. Having worn sensible skirts and blouses for months, they suddenly decide to dress like gypsies and prostitutes and lace up their espadrilles. In a clothes buying frenzy, they throw fashion caution to the wind and with a blaze of hot pink, burnt orange and every shade of pastel imaginable, play ‘stuff as many outfits into a suitcase as possible’. Of course, most of the ‘must have’ outfits are never worn, or in some cases never removed from the case; returning home to the UK at the end of the holiday to languish in a wardrobe.

We must all have a wardrobe or two of holiday togs that’ll never be worn again - well not in this country at least. I remember a time when men simply took off their suit jackets, rolled up their trousers, loosened their braces, and removed their ties when on the beach. There wasn’t a need for holiday clothes; you simply adapted what you already had.

Oh well, summer will soon be here and the holiday clothes saga can start all over again… and don’t forget to pack a sweater just in case it gets chilly at night.