I mentioned that I might go to
Of course I had. I’d thought of that and any number of other ‘careers’ including astronaught, train driver, monk, pop star, magician and policeman – but somehow they didn’t quite suit. Of course what I didn’t think of were all the jobs that I’d actually have been pretty good at with the right training – plumber, builder, electrician, tree surgeon, blacksmith - blacksmith particularly as it was what our family had done for generations and I’d probably have been able to apprentice to my grandfather.
But no, and of course, none of those things were grand enough for me – after all, I’d scraped into Lord Bill’s on the borderline, I had an education, managed a few ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels, could go on to college and get a degree – why would I want to do something ordinary? So instead of becoming a blacksmith or even a plumber I went to college and got a degree in colouring-in – although I called it graphic design at the time.
Just think if I’d just been that tiny bit less bright, or had made a couple more bad guesses on the day of my eleven plus then I could be shoeing a horse instead of writing this crap today; I might even have been forging a lightning rod, a whimsical weather vane, all fire and copper and iron. Just think of that – a life full of lightning rods and wind vanes, it'd have been like I owned the weather.