Comings and goings...

Okay, first thing first – not that this should be my first thing. No, I have other more pressing things to be first - but somehow now seems to be just about the right time.

It’s raining. Not the refreshing rain that always makes me smile, but that grey, wet, drizzle rain that soaks everything and seeps through into your bones. Rain like this gets to my soul and when that happens… well, I need a happy thought.

My happy thought? Chicken for tea. Yes, I know not much, but something.

I have much to do, so why this first? Well, for one thing it has been a week of comings and goings. More goings really, but a significant coming inasmuch as little by little I feel a change in the very fabric of my world - what do I mean? I’m not really sure yet, but if there are some grand cosmic tumblers out there then I think I hear the starting to fall into place – just what place I have no idea, but scarily – warts and all – I think I may be becoming me. I hope so anyway. I can’t go on being all these others.

So a ray of hope and a Ray of loss. Excuse my pun, I’m sure Mr. Bradbury would. And others too - Robin Gibb, a long funeral procession in the town where I was born, a funeral service in the church where I was christened, the weeping of more tears in the graveyard where so many of my family are buried – Gran, Charlie, Len, Lena, Kate and all the rest – even my Gramps a man I never met but I’m sure I know. What a beautiful place, the yew tree walk and the standpipes with their watering cans to water the planted graves. So hard to find Gramps, so hard to find Gran's – not unmarked but almost.

I can still smell the dust of a sunny day, see the soft, not-quite-red oval berries scattered on the path. Down the steep stone steps and away with a whistle to the river. Just walk and walk, and walk and walk, until those silly, unmanly tears are dry -- and look a bright blue cornflower in the field.

And Sparkle? Well, I’m not quite sure - but I feel she might be off on a journey. May she find the right place and laughter - high on a hill in the warm evening sun to watch the fairies dance.

And that other? Some peace is my wish, peace for them all – a salted peace and a sleeping night.

Well, that’s it - all done and first things first. I feel better now. Still raining – well, lets get on with the day. Happy anniversary. xx