Sunday 17 June 2012

Haircut...

I had intended to let is grow, but somehow I couldn’t quite recapture the teased and towselled look I manage back in 1982 when her name was Rio and she danced across the sand. Back then I could work all day, freelance most of the night and still manage to go out clubbing bedecked in a purple and pink paisley shirt. Thirty years ago, so much forgotten and still some things remembered if I turn on the lights at the back of my mind.

I think I knew who I was back then, or at least there was a me I could build on. I’m still trying to work out when the blocks began to drift apart; maybe the mortar wasn’t strong enough – not enough cement, a little too much sand. But of course I’m lying, I know exactly when the cracks and crumbles began to appear and all over a mistaken gesture that sucked me in and flattered my easily flattered ego. I was such a peacock back then. Of course it was my fault, inevitable really; just like what happened after was inevitable. Maybe that’s it, maybe the realisation of the inevitability made me less or more or something - anyway, I don’t go to that room very often, I’m scared of the happy memories I find there.

So instead of letting it grow, I’ve cut my hair – taken a pair of scissors and snipped and snipped, making the floor grey where once there would have been sunshine, swept it into a pile and thrown it in the bin. Funny, it looks darker when it's off my head, more colourful somehow, less crazy - so no more waking with a huge fluffy grey cloud upon my head and no getting it back even if I wanted. 

8 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My shed hair looks like fireflies - see, I told you I've never seen them. I could do with some sunlight or a map maybe.

      Delete
    2. And you? Are you finding your way?

      Delete
    3. If you need a candle Debbie, there's one in the drawer by your bed.

      Delete
  3. Lindsey Messenger on Facebook: wow like the sound of that pink and purple paisley shirt...dont suppose you syill have it amongst all those blue ones?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Lindsey, it was great. Back then I had some really great shirts, mainly French Connection. These days I'm not that bothered.

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete