By George...

"By George" it’s St. George’s day, although you wouldn’t know it; just where are the St. Patrick’s Day style celebrations?

We really should celebrate that young Turk a little harder, a beer or two, maybe some dragon’s blood. “By George” perchance is a corruption of "by Jove" which entered into usage some time in the 1500s as a way of invoking God without actually using the word "God", which was considered blasphemous - bit like “Gor Blimey!” and “Oh, Heck!" (well almost). Jove, of course, actually was a God, Jupiter by another name, but then we’ve never really minded blaspheming foreign Gods and even better he was a Roman (that'll teach the invading buggers).

“Bugger Bognor!” as another George (a king this time, not a God) - George Frederick Ernest Albert, King of Great Britain, Ireland, the British dominions beyond the seas, and Emperor of India, more snappily known as George V - was alleged to have said on his deathbed. Apparently he didn’t but he should have... I just love it when someone’s final few words make no sense at all. I think I’ll simply say: “I am perplexed. Satan Get Out.” Although, now that I come to think about it, that one’s already been done.

I haven’t really known many George’s, although my Grandfather, Billy, was actually George but didn’t go by his first name Monica - or was he a Fred? Anyway, at school I don’t remember a single George. There were plenty of Andrew’s and several Barry’s but no George’s. Whilst on the subject of Barry and George though (see what I'm doing here?) Barry George was convicted of stalking and killing Jill Dando before having his conviction overturned (although he preferred to be known as Freddie - a bit like my granddad). George Barry on the other hand was a Scottish Minister and author of a History of the Orkney Islands in the mid-1700’s, so probably spent much of his time declaring “By George” in a heavily accented Scottish brogue whilst drinking whisky and knitting sweaters.

The top ten George’s are almost all American unsurprisingly: 1. George Burns, 2. George H. W. Bush, 3. George W. Bush, 4. George Clinton, 5. George Clooney, 6. George Foreman, 7. George Gershwin, 8. George Hamilton, 9. George Lucas, 10. George Michael, 11. George Orwell, 12. George Peppard, 13. George Segal,14. George Stephanopoulos and 15. George Will.

(Addendum - yes Martin there are 15 here... the numbering gives it away.)

Not a Frenchman in sight - no Georges Braque (perhaps it’s that unnecessary ‘s’) or a single Mexican; George Lopez - another comedian, actor and talk show host. Nice to see three American presidents in there though; including the charismatic (sarcasm emoticon required) Bush boys; but how could they overlooked that most famous president of all George Washington? And as for the others: a boxer who will be remembered for his grills, a number of good looking heist actors, a comedian (three if you include aforementioned Bush boys), and one very good modernish composer.

Britain barely gets a look in with George Orwell (who was actually an Eric) and the infamous Mr. Michael whose full name is actually Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou; and just who the hell are George Will and George Stephanopoulos anyway? Oh, I see that they’re journalists (thanks Google) – so much more famous than let’s say… George Best, George Stephenson, George Formby, George Sand, George without his Gilbert, George of Famous Five fame, and the political charlatan who is George Galloway - to name but a very random few.

Oh yes, and Boy George…By George!