Call my bluff...

Frank Muir - such a lovely man. I must blog him I thought the other day, some of my happiest memories are of watching him spout nonsense on Call my Bluff - if only I'd known at the time that nonsense is often much closer to the truth than the truth can ever be.

Back in my teenage years when we were the first people on our street to have a colour TV, I’d spend many a happy hour watching pot-black. I remember it in black and white, but when we went colour it was a completely different experience. I think that Call my Bluff used to be on after the snooker. Presented by Robert Robertson and with team captains Frank Muir and Patrick Campbell it was a wonderful watch, too good to snog through and sometimes I even knew the words. The teams were made up of anybody they could get I think and I remember actresses and actors, sportsmen, journalists - all telling lies or truths about the word on the card.

“Salagarian.” Robert Robertson would solemnly declare in his precise, clipped tone and off they would go; Frank with his slightly camp lisp and Patrick with his not quite controlled stutter.

The premise of the competition was simple. There were two teams each made up of three team members who would take it in turns to tell you what the word on the card meant. One of the explanations was true the other two were false. The opposing team had to guess the right explanation to gain a point.

“Salagarian.” A vegetarian who only eats salad – no cooked vegetables.

“Salagarian.” A twelfth century Turkish pirate vessel - a little like an Egyptian dhow.

“Salagarian.” A native of Salagaria - a tiny district of the Russian Steppes.

Frank’s bow tie would almost twitch with anticipation and when Patrick delivered an incorrect answer he would beam as Patrick spluttered and fumed.

There were interesting characters on quiz shows back then and it always struck me that what made them so interesting was the fact that they’d seen interesting things and lived through interesting times. Perhaps it was the war, or perhaps the fact that they’d travelled in an age when travelling meant more than booking a flight on the internet. Maybe education had something to do with it – schools had names and school songs and universities were not at all universal. I guess some of it was privilege, some of it living through depression and war, some of it sheer hard work; but whatever it was they were the type of people to respect for their achievements. I can’t imagine Simon Cowell ever being on Call my Bluff.

I’d love to see the show resurrected. I’m sure it would be a hit - perhaps I’ll write to the BBC and request it.

Frank Muir died years ago in 1998, somehow I missed it. I only really remember him for Call my Bluff, but isn’t that enough?

“Salagarian. A twelfth century Turkish pirate vessel - a little like an Egyptian dhow… or is it?”