I've never swooped down a long, curving, banister, to fall all-a-tumble in a heap at the bottom of the stairs - and to my knowledge I don't know anyone who has. It occurs to me that despite so many people claiming to have done this act of derring-do, not many have really tried it and I doubt than any other than the truly stupid or incredibly stupid would really try it. This, of course, is now your chance to tell me all about the time you actually did ride the banister monorail, managing to miss the pain that is the newel post at the bottom, and miraculously avoiding tumbling to your death in the hallway below (remember this admission will make you either truly or incredibly stupid).
Of course most of the boarders at my school claimed to have done it at some time or other (banister bashing that is - I believe it was a wizard wheeze) but then most of them claimed all sorts of things most of the time including cloaks of invisibility and being able to converse with snakes... or was that Harry Potter?
I did once ride a tin tray down our stairs at home when I was a very small boy of four for a dare (thanks cousin Ian), but only the once - I tumbled into the front door, ending up with a bloody nose and barely managing to hide it from my mum.
The house I live in currently has a great number of stairs (48 from top to bottom to be precise) with landings, half-landings, and bannisters a-plenty. None however that I would want to ride due to the forty foot drop the the hallway below (I can almost hear the 'thlumpf' as my body hits the dark wood laminate flooring).
No, no banister bucking for me, no handrail hugging or stair surfing - not so walking up the bannister though. As you can see here I am climbing the bannister wearing my cloak of invisibility. For some reason my shoes seem impervious to its magic, probably because they are made from a very special kind of leather, tanned from the hide of a dragon. I'm aware that one of my laces is undone but don't worry I'll be careful, I'm just hoping that I don't meet Mary Poppins coming down on my way up.
I know... sad isn't it.
Sunday boredom is such an empty thing.
David Bell 48 stairs? That must be a bugger to paint
ReplyDeleteDavid - I spent three months hand stripping the paint of all those banisters and spindles. No way would I paint them!!
DeleteLindsey Messenger on Facebook: Did you polish your shoes especially for the photo?? Liked the blog, as always x
ReplyDeleteI keep my shoes polished and I remember your dad's boots, the shine on them would blind you.
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