Sleep...

For years I’ve had a problem sleeping, waking up frequently and sometimes (often even) not being able to get to sleep at all. I tried everything; counting sheep, drinking wine, warm baths prior to bedtime, listing A-Z’s, drinking wine, self hypnotism, hot milky drinks, reading, drinking wine…

None of them seemed to do much good. I’d find myself not only counting the sheep but naming them, the A-Z’s would bother me (Well, can you think of an island beginning with X?), I really don’t enjoy milky anything, and I found myself reading well into the early hours, sometimes till dawn, only to fall asleep an hour before I was due to get up with a book covering my face.

Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa, nyaa – damned alarm!

The wine had an effect occasionally, and the hypnotism worked but gave me such surreal dreams that I tossed and turned all night. Of course these were in the days when, for one reason or another, I was – as they say – stressed.

My stressing was caused by two things in the main; work, and then more latterly, not having any. I’m not sure which was worse; the bullying pompousness of my know-nothing new colleagues and boss towards the end of my career as they tried to work me out of the equation, or the void of having no purpose and identity when they eventfully did get rid of me.

Anyway, that’s all past now and these days I have a new sleeping problem… I can’t stay awake.

These days I am relaxed. I’m not absolutely sure why, but considering myself semi-retired may have something to do with it. Not caring that I no longer have position and authority (not that I ever really did) may be a factor too. Perhaps doing something I enjoy helps and maybe it’s because I really try not to care about anything or anybody unimportant to me any more. I just let the bloody lot wash over me… and I never set the alarm.

I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. In part I’ve taught myself to do it with relaxation techniques. But on a chilly evening with a roaring fire, sitting in a candlelit room with a glass of wine or two already down the hatch it’s pretty hard to stay awake even if it isn’t yet even nine o’clock.

It annoys my wife, but the cat doesn’t seem to mind me getting old,  She falls asleep at any time of day and she's not even two - sleeping in her hammock bed slung over the radiator. Gaynor doesn’t complain about the cat… so why does she complain about me?

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.