Tales from the glass painter's table...

Ah, the wacky world of glass painting.

You know there's no telling what people are going to ask for in terms of something for their loved ones. A woman came in this week asking that I paint her a beer glass with a stoat holding a heart. It was to give to her husband on their second wedding anniversary and she asked me to put Mr. Stoat at the bottom of the glass.

'No problem Mrs. Stoat' I said.

She laughed, 'Oh, his name isn't Stoat,' she replied, 'that's just what I call him in the bedroom.'

Too much information really.

On a different note another woman, or in this case a lady, asked for a glass covered in beautiful coloured butterflies for her friend Louise.

Now normally I wouldn't have done this through choice preferring to make product that is either tastefulish, wacky, funny, or simply weird. But I learnt long ago that you must always give your public what they want and dutifully settled to the task.

It was a bit tricky and the photo doesn't really do the delicate opalescent over-painting justice, but when it was finished I put it on my drying shelf knowing that I would have another satisfied customer when it was collected and that I had spent far too long fiddling with the thing to make it financially rewarding.

Within a couple of hours I had sold four more to ladies who had seen it drying and decided to order one for their friends.

I really am going to have to industrialise the butterfly painting process, otherwise I'm going to be bankrupt. Maybe I could get apprentices like Michaelangelo or open an art factory like Damien Hirst.

What next I wonder? A grizzly bear? A grey-haired golfer? a seven year old girl footballer in her blue and white striped kit? A space rocket?

Oh I forgot, I've already done those this week.

Just call me the glass art tart.