Leftovers...

‘His blogs late tonight.’ I hear you mumble.

Yes, well today has been one of those drifting days, those days that occasionally fluff out of the ether leaving you becalmed and dolrumic in the water. Hard to write a post when you are surrounded by calm, grey water, just drifting, drifting, drifting.

So I’m working on the premise that the later I leave it, the more tired and random I get, and the more likely I am to have something to say.

I’ve had my tea. It was a tea of leftovers, ping-and-dinged as Gaynor has gone off to Wales for a few days at half-term. Plan was that I was going too, at least for a couple of days, but due to opportunities, or at least potential ones, I can no longer do that so leftovers it was.

Nice leftovers though – a portion of beef in ale stew, a very good portion of broccoli and cauliflower au-gratin, and of course a portion of chips (thin ones and freshly cooked).

As I ate a thought came to me and I realised how lucky I was to be eating leftovers when most of the world wouldn’t have any leftovers left. Most of the world wouldn’t have enough to go around, let alone scoop what wasn't eaten into semi-opaque plastic containers and shove them into the freezer in the hope that they’d get eaten some day.

Most of the world would eat all they had and still be hungry.

Okay, don’t worry, the starving children isn’t my theme tonight. It’s late – there is no theme and so…

Just where does the time go? It only seems like a few minutes since I arrived home with a list of things I was going to do tonight and here I am, day and night almost gone, and only half of them achieved. Oh, I’ve managed some product and sorted some buying, but the stuff I really wanted to do remains untouched. Just where does the time go? I need to stack the dishwasher and have a bath before I go to bed just where will I find the time? Where, oh where does the time go…

And then there’s this other thing. The thing I’ve been trying to ignore, avoid, put to the back of my mind, hide from, and generally whistle at so that it never needs to know I’m afraid.

The past has made reappearance in my life. It is coming at me in many ways – from the side, from the back, and then this week – head on.

Oh, I knew it was coming. What with the cats, the whispering ring, that dream of a kiss.

I like it and I shy away from it. I want it but know that I can’t have it. I need it and I need it, and therefore it is best not to need it. Yes, the leftovers of my life have appeared to be warmed over and, if the appetite is there, eaten.

Do I take it out of the freezer, open the plastic container and warm it through? Or should I just leave it? Leftovers that will never be a meal?

What shall I have for my tea tomorrow?

Think I’ll go and check the freezer.