A bunch of cocks...

Hello playmates, it’s been a while.

Yes, somewhere between what I might have said about the Eurovision Song Contest, new electronic devices, planting out time, that Rolf Harris person, and a fall down the stairs, I seem not to have been able to get myself along to Bedford Falls for a few days.

Of course it was mainly the bumping down of stairs on my coccyx that silenced me; a combination of too much red wine and not turning on the lights, which led to a whole ocean of agonising pain. Still, as my wife would say: “stop going on about it.”

So I shall.

Although for a moment there I think I realised how close we all are to a life in a wheelchair or worse. Sleep was a good friend, as were too many Ibuprofen, but I lost my appetite for a few days (unheard of) and even a visit to the doctor was contemplated.

But I won’t go on about it.

Which brings me to what has eventually stirred me back (excuse the pun given my stairs incident) into action.

Where a bearded, transvestite Austrian singing a second rate song, a trusted childhood hero’s smashed reputation (can you tell what it is yet), and my Kindle trauma, failed, last night’s party political broadcast for the English Democrats, which was broadcast after the news, has succeeded.

Did anybody else see this load of nonsense? It contained just about every jingoistic cliché in the Domesday Book. The White Cliffs of Dover, Bobby Moore, Spitfires, Churchill, Cockney singers, St George, even an English pub – oh, and a bunch of hopeless sad jerks who really should have been wearing crusader’s costumes made from knitted silver wool and bed sheets, just to make it all complete. These lot obviously have no idea, no message, and seem to have just stepped out of wartime England (not, Britain, not Europe). Vote for them? I’d rather vote… Well, I’m not sure. But certainly not them as their “agenda” – quote marks intentional – seems to be all about immigration and not allowing it.

What a waste of airtime. Do I really pay my license fee to attend an English Nutter's tea party? It should have been inserted into The Fast Show, it has a place there, as (if you ignore the underlying message and content) it was truly hilarious. Mind you, people used to laugh at Hitler in the early days – or was that Charlie Chaplin?

I could go on to seriously argue that this broadcast attempts to incite the English to racial hatred and discrimination. And of course it does. But it seems that under the banner of “politics” – quote marks intentional again – pretty much anything can be said without too much fear of prosecution.

No, I didn’t like this bunch of suited middle-aged weirdoes at all - particularly the pirate lady in black gloves - with their rallying cries and ‘repeat that message’ brainwashing. Of course there will be a lot of “people” out there – again intentional – who agree with them. But their brains, such as they are, have already been washed.

Okay that’s it. Maybe I should have stuck to The Eurovision after all.

Anyway. View the cocks here.

Be seeing you.