Sunday 6 April 2014

Manchester marathon...

I make people shout; I don’t know why people shout at me, they just do. Perhaps it’s a knack I have, or maybe when people look at me they see a big red flag and become bullish. I really don’t know, but sometimes it seems that I’ve spent my whole life being shouted at by one person or another and if I’m honest I’ve become very tired of it.

Maybe I don’t express myself very well. Sometimes when I say something it comes out wrong or my tone is wrong or my attitude is wrong or the words I use are wrong or, although I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with what I’m saying, others think that what I’m saying is wrong and then they shout at me.

Here’s an example.

You bloody runners get on my nerves. I’ve spent most of today turning around as most of the bloody roads have been closed so that people, who should know better, can run on roads which should be for cars not people. Just why you are allowed to do this is beyond me. Surely you can run in a big park. As for why you do it, well it takes all sorts, but my belief is that you just like lycra and sweat. Anyway you completely buggered my day with your stupid, selfish activities and I don’t care if it was for charity.

Shout away.

6 comments:

  1. Tony Payne Hahaha. The sweat and the Lycra is addictive Andy, and the parties and the boozing and the social life and the beautiful scenery in obscure parts of Britain and the camaraderie and the cheering crowds and the cake, there's always cake, and the adrenalin and the support of the community and the free chips and sandwiches from our local landlord every Tuesday and the respect of run England and the fact you stay fit and healthy and the taste of salt on your skin and the fact I'm part of one of England's largest running clubs and the fact that people have been nursed through depressions and illnesses by running and pushing your body, knowing you can never work it harder than you just did and seeing people cry with happiness when they complete their first 5k from never contemplating exercise and when you see people delight in going from 16 stone to 11 stone and did I mention the very tight Lycia
    Selfish gits
    Xxx
    Come and join us mate I guarantee you won't regret it

    Andrew Height Nah, I'll stick to drinking beer on my own you selfish git.

    Carmel Payne Pmsl

    Andrew Height Thank God for that Carmel Payne. Some of my more worthy friends seem to have the sense of humour of a Canadian. It's bloody running for God's sake, not a miracle, they aren't giving their organs. I can see that all this running frenzy has a purpose, and in charity terms does a lot of good, but then so do eating competitions. It's R-U-N-N-I-N-G!

    Carmel Payne I hope they realise u don't mean it Don't u dare say u do!!

    Andrew Height It is an inconvenience when the roads are closed. it does make me annoyed. but I can live with it. No, I don't mean it, but then I am not worthy.

    Nick Jones Let's face it, the world would be boring if EVERYONE ran. Thank God for people like Tony, but thank God for people like Andy too.

    Nick Jones And if everyone ran for charity, who would be left to sponsor them?

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  2. Paul Altobelli, Linda Kemp, Joan McGee and 9 others like this.

    Carmel Payne You are very brave Mr Andrew Height

    Mark McNicholas Too true

    Carmel Payne You also remind me of Doc Martin

    Tim Preston bloody well said

    Ian Maclachlan Lycra and sweat mmmmmmmmm

    Sarah Farmer Andrew are you being serious. If half of these people who ran didn't do it then children and adults of cash strapped charities would not be able to provide some of the vital services such as hospices where terminally ill children and adults go to die!!!!! Your one day of having to turn around and find an alternative route could have been put to good use and you too could have joined in instead.....or perhaps save your petrol money and walked or even better ...... could have sponsored people to do something wonderful. ....

    Flora Marriott Apologies that the road closures affected your journey today. But a lot of us do complete these runs for charities. That is not a bad thing. Me and my pal Alison have just run Brighton & have raised over £3,000 for Mind and for the MS Society. In the case of the latter, they are doing excellent research to try to get nearer to a cure. In total Brighton runners raised over £6million today. Manchester is probably similar. Also what bowled us over was the support of the non runners today. Thousands of people of all ages lined the streets, clapped and danced and gave out jelly babies and really encouraged us and made it a great event. The generosity and kindness of people comes out on occasions like this.
    And I don't do it because of a lycra and sweat fetish.

    Nick Jones I have to run for have an hour each night to sweat out all the pinches of salt I take when reading Andy's statuses.

    Cloe Fyne Oh dear! Yes we needed to go to Jamie's house too and couldn't get there and it wasn't not for trying. That being said, the inconvenience is all for a good cause and was I not preggers I may have run it myself. Should have used not being able to go out as an excuse to stay in, read a book and drink wine xxxx

    Andrew Height Lighten up people. Yes it is bloody annoying to find roads closed at every turn and yes these runs would work just as well in large parks. But it was my own bloody fault for forgetting it was on and going out, and they do raise a lot of money for charity. You won't get me joining the run though. I'd rather drink beer for charity. Anyone want to sponsor me?

    Andrew Height Thought not. Best not buy tickets for my stand up act.

    Carmen Robinson Bless ya xx did you not know you would start a rant?? Tut tut.. As a runner myself have to agree with my fellow runners . If ya can't beat em.... Join em?

    Tim Preston You don't HAVE to run anywhere to get people to give money to charity. I wish people would stop using that reason

    Andrew Height Oh yes I knew Carmen Robinson. I admire you runners, but Tim is right, an awful lot of money is raised in America through eating challenges. No I won't join you I can think of nothing less interesting to do with my time. I'll stick to beer sampling thanks

    Clare Pritchard Bahhhh!!!! grumpy old bugger!!!

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  3. Andrew Height Selfish git. See my comment

    Tony Payne Explain yourself Mr Andrew

    Andrew Height You made it onto my blog, git. Read it for yourself you runner you.

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  4. Footnote:

    Of course i knew when I posted that comment that it would cause outrage among those who a) Run b) Charitise. It was my intention to poke the fiery stick of criticism towards the worthy to see what came back - and I wasn't disappointed.

    When did it become a requirement that things we do for our own pleasure and ego require sponsorship? Isn't just doing them enough?

    My whole morning was wasted trying to navigate my way around runners. It was bloody annoying and nothing can change that. Should I really be expected to look at their running compulsion with a rosy glow simply because it is for charity?

    Everything is for fucking charity these days. So why should running be any different.

    I'd rather just give them the money without them blocking the roads. I'd even give it just to keep them off the roads.

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  5. This one runs and runs (excuse the pun, I couldn't resist)

    Steve Bishop I am currently organising a Manchester "Annoy-Andrew" marathon walk. No-one is allowed to do it for charity, it is purely an inconvenience walk. The reason it is a walk and not a run?.... it will close the roads for almost 7 times as long. Anyone interested?

    Steve Bishop People will line the streets with cups of sweat to hand out to the walkers as they walk by.

    Andrew Height I'll sponsor you Steve. After all it is all in a good cause.

    Andrew Height Will you be wearing Lycra?

    Steve Bishop I knew I could rely on you Andrew, as you know I will be doing it solely for the lycra.

    Andrew Height
    Actually I'd sponsor those runners to stay off the roads. Might not do there egos as much good though

    Steve Bishop I won't be phoning you later to ask if you had a good week-end !

    Andrew Height Ha ha, actually I did. I love watching people falling over in the road all dressed up as serious runners, then wading my way through discarded water cups to kick them while they are down. Of course I stuffed a tenner in their hand as I did so. It's all in a good cause donchaknow.

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