14 sleeps to go - Christmas cheer...

Christmas Day is about the only time of year that I feel I can legitimately drink before breakfast. There’s nothing like a glass of bubbles first thing the get that special day started. Of course orange juice is available, but it never gets opened. I sip my champagne whilst opening my presents which is usually done for elevenish and then it’s time for a nice glass of sherry. This is a Christmas tradition (I think) and about the only time I ever drink the rich, pungent liquid. I prefer my sherry dry; but when I was a boy I remember tasting the sweet, sickly stuff I found in the drinks cupboard under the stairs and vowing never to touch the demon booze again.

I failed in my vow.

By around one I’m ready for a beer or two. So it’s off to the local for a couple of pints of bitter. If I’m in Wales I’ll probably sample a couple of the guest bitters at ‘The Cliffs’. If I’m at home I may even pop over to that other well known watering hole ‘The Fridge’; it’s pretty handy being in the kitchen and everything. Beer is a necessity at this time in order to prepare for the wilting boredom that is the Queen’s speech.

At half-past four it’s time for my pre-dinner Jaggers and Taggers in order to set my appetite on edge for whatever sumptuous feast we have eventually decided upon. As yet the actual ingredients of our dinner still hang in the balance. But hopefully by the day we’ll have reached a decision and we’ll have something to eat along with the Chablis with the fish (or Heinz soup if we can’t decide soon), Merlot with the meat (or sausages), Port with the cheese (or quavers), and Brandy with the coffee (or Brandy with the Brandy).

After Christmas dinner I usually take a break from the booze - usually about twenty minutes. Then it’s time for my early evening Mojito. Well, the lime is so refreshing. I might follow this with a Moscow Mule or a Manhattan Transfer Yes, Christmas night is cocktail night. One year we ran out of ice, but fortunately it was very cold so I reached out of the back door and snapped off a few icicles. That did the trick.

At some point during all this revelry it’s time to think about getting some shuteye. I sometimes consider making myself a nice steaming cup of hot chocolate, But I soon dismiss that as a very silly idea and instead pour myself a Jack Daniels nightcap. I usually end Christmas by watching the flames in the fireplace until I feel ready to make the long climb up the stairs to bed.

I awake Boxing Day morning on the sofa.

Champers anyone?