A couple of firsts...

October is on its way and the evenings are getting colder and darker.

We lit our first fire of the season last night. I know it’s a cliché but there really is nothing like an open fire, just the look of it warms you up. I like to here the crackle of the logs as they burn and watch the spitting sparks as they fly up the chimney – yes I know, more clichés. When Holly was a little younger we used to send her letter to Father Christmas up the chimney by letting the warm air from the flames grab it, wafting it up, out of the chimney, and off to the North Pole. Father Christmas used to reply in the same way, sending his letter down the chimney to be found in the ashes the following morning.

I don’t expect we’ll be doing that any more – shame.

And I had another first today. I had my first tooth extracted by my dentist. I’ve really been very fortunate with my teeth, no fillings and few problems other than one annoying tooth that is rather prone to abscesses. It was around the time that Holly was born that it started to give me trouble - no connection. After a week of agonising, abscess driven, head banging, four o’clock in the morning pacing and crying pain, I had to have it drilled and a crown fitted. It was fine for years and then, a little over a year ago, it became infected again. The dentist gave me antibiotics, which cleared it up, and a warning that like Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger ‘IT WOULD BE BACK’. And, annoyingly, she was right. A week or so ago, I woke up one morning with Arnie Abscess screaming ‘ I’M BACK, I’M BACK, I’M BACK’ – ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!

So today, on the advice of my dentist, I had it removed. Who’d have thought that in this day and age that the removal of a tooth would still require brute force and the shedding of blood? Surely, there must be some kind of sonic or laser treatment that can vibrate, or turn the tooth to dust, without the need to yank and crunch!

Here is some of the advice printed on the sheet of paper my dentist gave to me as I stumbled in shock out of her surgery door.

1. To prevent bleeding: Bite firmly on the mouth pack provided for 10-20 minutes after the procedure.
2. Avoid hot drinks, cold drinks, food that is hard.
3. If bleeding occurs: Apply pressure by biting on a clean rolled-up handkerchief placed over the wound until the bleeding stops.
4. Warning! Do not hold anything hot against the face or use hot mouthwashes the same day.

My dentist also told me to eat on the other side of my mouth (soft food only) for a while and after twenty four hours to rinse four times a day for seven days with warm salty water!

Eat on the other side of my mouth! Bite on a hanky! Rinse with salty water! Maybe I should just slug some more whisky and bite on a leather strap!

Where is the plastic spray skin that immediately seals wounds to prevent loss of precious blood? Where is the needle-less hydraulic injector filled with anti-pain that Raymond Baxter promised us all on Tomorrow’s World? Where is the pain evaporating, all-healing, light ray that radiated from that glowing head shield I remember as a boy - was Star Trek just a work of fiction?

Anyway the tooth is out and the fire is lit. I’ll have to remember not to get my face too close to the flames – as recommended in my dentist’s note.

Oh well, at least I now have a lucky tooth. Now where did I put that rolled-up hanky?