Cat mess…

Just look at this – it looks like a bomb’s hit! How did all those crisp packets get all over the floor? When something like this happens there’s usually only one explanation…

‘It could have been an earthquake. Sometimes when earthquakes happen things get disturbed. The scattering of crisp packets wouldn’t take much more than 3.5 on the Richter scale. Admittedly it isn’t very likely, but we do have lots of tiny earthquakes in this country, nine at least in the last thirty days. The one in Buxton on the 7th July only measured a measly 2.00 on the Richter scale, so it wasn’t far away; but not strong or close enough to move crisp packets.

Earthquakes are really hissing common. There are almost a million earthquakes each year worldwide, although most are under 3.4 on the Richter scale. You people wouldn’t feel them - us cats can though. It’s a hissing nuisance. It really sets the whiskers trembling when one goes off. Of course we don’t feel all million of them, just the ones that are local to us - within a 50 or so mile radius. It can be very distracting - usually it works out at around 5 a day. My whiskers seem to be in a state of constant vibration - and it makes me sneeze.

Aaashmeooooo – there goes another one. About a 1.7 I think.

3.5 to 4.2 is just about noticeable indoors to you humans, there are 30,000 of them a year. Windows rattle at 4.3 to 4.8 and there are about 5,000 of them. Dishes break at 4.9 to 5.4 - a mere 1,400 a year. At 5.5 to 6.1 plaster cracks, 6.2 to 6.9 houses shake, 7.0 to 7.3 houses fall, 7.4 to 7.9 whole cities crumble, and anything over 8 – well let’s just say it wouldn’t be a few crisp packets that Hisfault would be worrying about. It’s a good job we only get one of those every ten years or so.

So it could have been an earthquake… or maybe a poltergeist.

Poltergeist’s a German word - it means ‘Rumble Ghost’, which doesn’t sound quite as scary does it. They’re invisible, not like the usual ghosts that I see. Yes, cats see ghosts all the time. I’ve never seen a Poltergeist though, but then I wouldn’t would I, they’re invisible. In India they are called Mumai. Poltergeists are just mischievous; they move stuff around and throw things. So it could have been a Rumble Ghost that threw the hissing crisp packets all over the floor.

Look, there goes old man Wilberforce, straight through the kitchen wall as usual.

So it could have been an earthquake, or a Poltergeist. In fact it could have been any number of things… mice, the wind, fairies, spontaneous locomotion, an act of Mu-Mu… but it wasn’t… it was me.

There, I admit it, I’m guilty, hate me for it if you wish, but I couldn’t help myself.

I do so love snuggling up in a nice cosy box - and this crisp box is just the right size for a snooze…’

I knew it! When something like this happens and there’s mess everywhere, there’s usually only one explanation… Misty!

Look at her, she’s fast asleep in that box, doesn’t she look comfortable - I’ll tell her off later, when she wakes up…