So it's my day, my wonderful day, a day to ring bells my fat fertile aunt and to consider what I have learnt over this expanding lifetime. Fifty nine! A miracle some might say, a pity cry some others. Well, la di da and who gives a shit anyway?
A year off sixty; not so old in these days of living until ninety kept alive by drugs and doctors who should know better. I read recently that reaching a hundred will soon be commonplace for people who are in their twenties currently. Whatever happened to live fast, die young? Is fifty really the new forty?
So what have I leant? What? What? What? Well I know that my least favourite crisps are roast chicken flavour and that ready salted pretty much go with any sandwich. I know that you need to protect yourself from the rosy colour of the past because it is just your mind polishing places and people who never existed. I also understand that blood is not thicker than water, it fact it has no substance at all. I’m sure that religion, all religion, is nonsense with no truth behind it. In fact I now understand that there are no truths, only opinions and perspectives. I’ve learnt than cynicism is a luxury that only the young can afford because they have their whole scary lives in front of them and won’t need to be optimistic until their youth is almost spent.
At a year off sixty I have learnt to be optimistic but to meter it with horrible honesty so as not to have any illusions. I have learnt that people are good, except the ones who are bad. I have learnt that no matter what your plans are ultimately we are all mice. I have learnt that society is so busy trying to be well and correct that it forgets how to enjoy itself. I have learnt that there is pleasure in the smallest of unimportant things if you seek it out. I have learnt that nothing lives up to expectations because expectations are not real. I have learnt to never give in if you know that something is right, but only if you are prepared to lose. I have learnt to cut through the bullshit, even through my own bullshit sometimes. I have learnt that honesty isn’t always the best policy and that saying nothing often is. I have learnt to accept myself but not to accept others who don’t accept me. I have learnt that one day there will be nothing to worry about, so worry or don’t worry while you can.
In short, I have learnt nothing apart from that roast chicken/plain crisp thing or course. One year off sixty and at least I know that. So it hasn’t been an entire waste.