Monday 29 September 2014

A trip to the cottage - spiders...

I suppose I should start with the Spider, well it does seem a very good place to start.

We arrived at the cottage on Thursday evening just as night was falling and three full days ahead of us to do whatever we chose. At this time of year, mellow fruitfulness and all that, my first duty on arrival is to perform the bath check. This consists of turning on the light and checking the off-white bath for spiders; a task I am not at all bothered by, although I did once have to catch and set fourteen of the little lovelies free outside.

On this occasion there were only five and four of them were deceased, dead, and no longer with us. The remaining spider seemed in fine fettle and very much alive, rearing up on his back legs as if to say ‘come on then if you think you’re hard enough!’ Obviously I was. No spider, not even this gladiator with four kills to his name (I assumed), was ever going to get the better of me.

Now usually I pick them up in my cupped hands and transport to the back door and freedom. There have been times I’ve taken two or three at a time, jiggling my hands up and down in an attempt to stop them tickling me. Not this time though. This time I got a beer glass and a piece of paper – this was one huge spider.

It didn’t take long before he was safely inside my pint pot. I have to say that he didn’t seem pleased, so I quickly and carefully slipped a pound inside the glass for scale and took a couple of pictures. Then, after nervously retrieving my pound, I set him free by dropping him into the dark over the stable door knowing that (like Arnie) he’ll be back. Well, they don't call them house spiders for nothing.

Later that same evening we found another spider almost as big in the living room and again I had to fetch my beer glass. I must be losing my touch. Not Luna though who seemed to enjoy playing with her through the glass of my Old Speckled Hen pint pot.

11 comments:


  1. Liz Shore
    He is certainly a whopper!

    Lucy Whitehead
    STOP IT

    Andrew Height
    Spiders are our friends.

    Vicky Brickhill
    Wow. You should charge him rent.

    Maggie Patzuk
    OMG!!! What the hell kind of spiders do you have in Wales!!!!!

    Andrew Height
    Very big ones Maggie, but they are harmless... well, almost.

    Maggie Patzuk
    Just as long as they don't bite Luna!!!!

    Andrew Height
    I think she's allowing me to live in her house Vicky. I wouldn't put them outside but Gaynor insists.

    Andrew Height
    Maggie, if Luna catches them - and she often does - they are gone in a snap.

    Maggie Patzuk
    I hope that does not mean she eats them! EW!!!!!!
    12 hrs · Like

    Andy B D Bickerdike Did you see mine?
    12 hrs · Unlike · 1

    Cloe Fyne Uuuuuuugh gross
    11 hrs · Like

    Andrew Height Nope Cloe Brilliant. Without spiders we woulds be overun with flies.
    11 hrs · Like

    Andrew Height I did Andy. it was a beauty. i love spiders.
    11 hrs · Like

    Cloe Fyne Jamie told me yesterday a spider crawled out of my freshly washed bra while he was putting the washing away!!! Made me feel sick
    11 hrs · Like

    Andrew Height Poor spider. Must have taken a wrong turn Cloe.
    9 hrs · Like

    Mike King I think I'm going to block you until Autumns over. I hear all your arguments about how much you like spiders etc etc etc but if truth be told they terrify me. And keep getting "surprised" by spider pics on FB ain't fun. I tend to do silly stuff like going sleepwalking so it's not personal. I'll be back in a month.

    Andrew Height
    I am afraid she does Maggie.

    Andrew Height
    A spider is for life, not just for autumn Mike.


    Andrew Height
    By the way Mike I used to feel the same about pictures of dogs since being savaged by a bulldog as a child... But then I decided to man up.

    Andrew Height
    Magpies tomorrow, just in case we have any sufferers from Corvidophobia.

    Mike King
    I've just seen this - it's not a case of "manning up" as you put it. That's an extremely unthoughtful and unhelpful thing to say, it's pretty much in the same league as telling someone who is depressed to "get over it". I have had my irrational fear since I was a child, I have tried various things including seeing a shrink and CBT to get over it but it never quite goes. At the moment I probably am able to cope better than I ever have done before. Please stop being an arsehole Andy, it's so unbecoming of you.
    8 hrs · Like

    Andrew Height
    Actually Mike I do understand where you are coming from and recognising that your fear is irrational is a good step. Fear of spiders is passed from generation to generation and, as a qualified hypnotherapist, I think it likely that this is the root cause of your fear. I'd recommend that you see a hypnotherapist and request regression therapy. In all the cases I have treated it has only failed once. I am saying that you need to face your problem otherwise it will never go away and will control you. Sorry you find that offensive, but we can only defeat our problems if we meet them head on. If you want a good hypnotherapist I suggest the hypnotherapy society's register.

    Andrew Height
    By the way I am not an arsehole. Now that is offensive.

    Mike King
    So telling someone who has an issue to "man up" is really helpful advice? Not really, it's the sort of thing the arseholes who don't understand say. So forgive me if I don't take you up on your offer.

    Andrew Height
    Whatever Mike, goodbye.
    8 hrs · Edited · Like

    Tim Preston
    They're just a bunch of crazy guys, you know!

    Stephen Entwistle
    Like

    Andrew Height You win some, you lose some.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My new rule in action: if someone insists of telling me what I should and shouldn't do or say on Facebook I will unfriend them. That is what I did to Mike King.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sharon Tayloron FB
    I love spiders, so totally agree with you x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Andrew Height
    It's a strange fear and shared by so many. I think it must be a form of mass hysteria passed on from generation to generation.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sharon Taylor
    perhaps, I have seen the same sort of fear of lightening in a family where they all dived under the table and I just sat there thinking but we are in a bungalow!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Andrew Height
    If lightening did hit you it might kill you, but a spider in the UK?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Graham Ido Taxi Kinsey on FCB
    I cannot understand why any one would want to kill anything even spiders what gives us the right to decide

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gloria Brown on FB
    I can't kill them, but they do scare me first thing in the morning in the kitchen sink !!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tim Preston on FB
    I tend to just come upon them when I'm least expecting it. And they're usually against a white surface and the contrast makes me go eek. They're cool guys tho

    ReplyDelete
  10. Richard Shore on FB
    Andy, you can please all of the people none of the time, and none of the people all of the time, but never some of the people some of the time. Or something. Anyway, I think the moral of this story is that some people just need to fuck off.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Andrew Height
    A lesson I am learning Rick, but yes I do agree.

    ReplyDelete