M6, M40, M42, M25, M60, M62, M56...

Just look at what I saw on the motorway last week. That would make one hell of a Marmite sandwich wouldn’t it?

Last week I spent twenty-two hours on the motorway a lot of it stationary and I can’t remember the last time I went a week without travelling at least a few miles on one. I don’t mind, I’m used to it. I have radio 4, CD’s, the occasional talking book and you can get really good coffee at the services now without having to queue for it.

I’ve heard people say that motorway driving can be boring. I can understand how they might think that but I can’t agree. Being stuck for hours in stationary or slow moving traffic can drag, but it can’t be avoided, so I try to make the most of it when it happens and take a look around me to see what’s going on.

You’d be surprised what people do on the motorway in traffic hold-ups. I once saw one young woman changing her blouse in a jam on the M5 (lucky me) and a few weeks ago two very attractive ladies putting on full make-up in their visor mirrors, puckering their lips and blowing kisses at themselves as they applied their lipsticks. I’ve seen people reading, arguing, writing, singing, crying– I’ve even seen people using laptops – of course not all of these were the drivers. I was once asked if I knew the answer to three down when a nice old lady leant out of her window to ask me (it was cantaloupe) and last summer I saw one young man get out of the passenger seat of a BMW, climb the very steep motorway embankment and return, ten minutes later, with two huge ice cream cones – talk about local knowledge.

I like to watch the clouds moving when I’m stuck in traffic, it’s very calming - and motorways are great places to see the sun rise and set. Have you ever noticed what a wonderful variety of trees grow at the sides of our motorways? You’d be amazed at how many apple and cherry trees there are. There are raspberry canes on the M62 and I even know where there’s a pear tree on the M6 – and I’ve eaten a pear from it.

And there’s the wildlife. You can’t go more than a few miles along any motorway without seeing some bird of prey hovering or swooping above you – kestrels, buzzards, kites, falcons, even the occasional owl. I’ve seen foxes, rabbits, pheasants, weasels and once half dozen fallow deer appeared from nowhere, sprinted across all six lanes, leapt the central reservation barrier, and disappeared into the trees. Thank God it was very early morning and there wasn’t much traffic or they might have caused a pile-up.

I enjoy watching the fog, and the glint of sunlight on water, and wind turbines in the distance, and the huge expanse of purple heather, and the way shadows of the clouds move on the hills, and the weird orange light on the trees just before the storm, and all of this whilst keeping my eyes on the road and concentrating on my driving.

So to those who think that motorway driving is boring I say this: although I might think that I’m rushing somewhere when I’m on the motorway I’m really enjoying some quality time. I can listen to music, or a play, or a book, I can people watch, enjoy the natural world, even catch a glimpse of a huge marmite sandwich maker!

I can hardly wait for the next four hour jam