Sometimes it's all too easy to find troublings and worries where none exist. Perhaps it all stems from the monsters that lived in my wardrobe when I was a child, or maybe it's to do with the ghost boy who lurked and whispered under my bed and still causes me to look for the hidden. Either way, it was a long time ago and I'm all grown up now. Thank God for the rationality of adulthood.I went for a walk on the beach this weekend. The wind was blowing a gale and the sea was being whipped into a frenzy. Foot deep foam tumbled and floated all along the beach at Criccieth, the water so white with froth that it looked like some joker had tipped a huge tub of washing powder into the stormy, grey waters.
I stopped to take some photographs of the bubbled-up waves when out of the soap-sud waters stepped a very peculiar creature, all dripping wet and shivering and looking as if it wanted something warm to eat. I didn’t quite like the sidelong look that it gave me, so I didn’t hang around to find out if his lobster claw hands were sharp or what was inside the ship-part (or was it a buoy?) attire that it was wearing. Instead I ran back to the car, threw open the door, jumped in, and hit the central locking button.
Gaynor tells me that I didn’t say anything for a minute or two, and when she asked me what was wrong I began to sing…
Ha, Ha, Ho, Ho,
Ha, Ha, Ho, Ho.
I see these things
Wherever I go.
Ha, Ha, Ho, Ho,
Ha, Ha, Ho, Ho.
I must announce.
I’m not mad though.
Ten minutes later I was still singing the same two verses repeatedly, and it wasn’t until she gave me a sharp slap across my face (for my own good apparently) that I stopped. Funny that… the way the weather can affect you - it’s just that time of year I guess, squalls spring up from nowhere, a storm arises and the old monsters come out of the spray to get you. Yes, for a moment there I could have sworn that something was after me, can’t have been though… must just have been the wind.
If you ever decide on a change of career might I suggest a job as a childrens author / illustrator? Your creatures have all the makings of the next "Hungry Catepillar" :)
ReplyDeleteI trained as an illustrator for a while. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYour doing that thing again aren't you. Saying something and hiding it in a joke i still don'y quite understand what yiou are asying this time
ReplyDeleteLove that illustration - you are so talented (ask Gaynor to slap you round the face again as I don't want you getting big headed). Sorry to hear about the monsters in your wardrobe - wonder where they went to.
ReplyDeleteGive me the monsters under the bed or in the wardrobe any time. The monsters of adulthood are so much more terrifying and won't be dealt with by leaping onto the bed , keeping all limbs tightly under blankets; it was safe when the eyes got adjusted to the light, or so I believed.
ReplyDeleteAlan Spence e-mailed me this whimsical tale:
ReplyDeleteI too had creatures that lived in my wardrobe as a boy.
In fact they lived in several wardrobes. We moved around the country quite a bit
with my fathers job.
For example the 'twins' lived' in the wardrobe in the upstairs spare room
in the house at my grandfathers work yard.
I must have been about five when I saw the twins for the first time.
I was sat on my grandfathers knee and I was not at all well.
My granny and mother waited anxiously by the living room window waiting for an ambulance to arrive.
I was suffering from pneumonia Out side it was blowing a gale and leaves were rushing around the yard forming
whirlwinds as they went. There was a line of ancient Oak and beach trees that lined the far wall of the yard,
they belonged to the Eglington estate. (They are still there to this day). I remember being mesmerised
by the swaying branches, you could here the creaking and cracking of the bow's.
There at the top of two of these enormous trees sat two figures. The had wreaths of green ivy around there crowns and they wore
white night gowns. They kept waving at me, their hair wildly blowing in the gale.
Their white robes rose and fell like great wings in the howling wind. Both of them just kept smiling and waving at me.
Now and again they would jump over to each others trees. My mother told me many years later that I kept pointing
out the window shouting 'Angels, Angels' My granny said that I had a fever and that I was hallucinating. But I wasn't
and my grandfather new I wasn't, because as I later found out many years afterwards from my
uncle Alec, both he and by grandfather had seen the twins on many occasions.
About six months later I was again ill. My mother had let me lie on the couch downstairs too watch telly.
My mother and granny had gone out in to the back garden. I heard somebody coming down the stairs,
I thought it might be my grandfather but it took for ever and although I could here the footsteps no body appeared at the bottom.
I got up from the couch and went to the bottom of the stairs and looked up.
There they were dressed in their white night gowns, ivy wreaths around their crowns,
looking down at me with kindly, smiles. They both began to descend the stairwell but never seemed to get any closer.
After that I often saw them around the house, just looking at me smiling.
They never came close, always keeping there distance.
They used to hide my toys and on several occasions my mother smacked me for loosing them,
the toys would always turn up a couple of days later in the place where I left them.
They had played the same tricks on Alec and my grandfather I later found out, by hiding
their rulers and pens.
Continued in next cooment
Continued from previous comment
ReplyDeleteAlan spence e-mailed:
When we moved to our new bungalow in the 'Gifields'.
They both moved with us, but only their heads. Alec confirmed that after we left the old house
the twins seemed to become headless.
The first time I saw the twins in the new house was at Christmas.
I was in bed asleep when I heard my name being called.
I thought it was my mum so I went through to her bedroom.
My mother was cross that I had woken her and my dad up and sent me back to room.
When I tried to get back of to sleep I could see my wardrobe door slowly open.
A tall man appeared, he looked like a butler and began to walk towards the bed.
I remember being frozen with fear, he had no eyes just dark holes and he kept
whispering my name.
As he reached the end of the bed the two twins appeared, their heads floating where the two
end bed posts were positioned. I could only see the backs of their heads as they were staring
at the man with no eyes. The man was clearly put of from coming any closer and returned to
the wardrobe.
I got out of the bed and again went through to my mums room. The twins followed smiling at me,
their heads floating behind me. They stood guard outside the room until day break.
The man tried to approach me on several other occasions but the twins always stood guard.
When I was seven we moved to England and lived in Ormskirk.
This time unfortunately my friendly twins did not come with us, but according to Alec they did manage
to reunite themselves with their bodies.
However the man in the wardrobe did venture south. I remember two momentous struggles with the eyeless man.
On both occasions I awoke to him trying to strangle me. I always managed to struggle free and when I did
he would always quickly hide back in the wardrobe.
My mother and father got so fed up of me complaining about what was happening they got
rid of the wardrobe and had new ones fitted and that was that, I never saw him again.
Both Alec's daughter's continued to see the twins when they moved in to the old house
and they too had their toys hidden by the them.
Alan
And then Tony Payne e-mailed:
ReplyDeleteAlan,
Your story is both scary and poignant.
I shall never again accuse you of nicking my pens, as I now know there is an alternative explanation.
- God, my blog is turning into Facebook!