Thursday 26 March 2015

Pocket potterings…

My life is a series of potterings these days. I don’t do anything for long, preferring to keep on the move doing this, attending to that, avoiding the things that I really ought to be doing. Of course along the way I pick up this from here and that from there and invariably it gets tucked inside one of my pockets.

You can tell a lot about a person by the contents of his pockets; what his interests are, the time of year, you can even get a rough idea of his age. On an average day I have between ten and twelve pockets to fill. My uniform of combats, gilet, shirt and tee shirt give me plenty of compartments to lose things in. Of course, there comes a time when my pockets need rationalising so, usually alongside a complete change of attire, I empty my pockets onto the table.

I’m always surprised with what I find. The wallet, keys and small change are a constant and I always carry a Swiss Army knife. Recently I’ve taken to carrying a second multi-blade penknife – a nice shiny silver one – basically because it has a better screwdriver, scissors that spring, and a tiny torch. I also carry a small two blade knife with the Sellotape logo on its side which I have honed to razor sharpness and generally use for cutting garden twine.

I always keep a notebook in my shirt pocket alongside my pens, writing down thoughts that I’d otherwise forget; although I often don’t remember why I wrote them down in the first place. My Sharpie is invaluable for writing on plastic seed stakes and I was surprised not to turn out a couple of stakes from my pockets. No string either - now that’s a first!

Of course the string is probably negated by the small bundles of garden wire, nails, screws, and the odd elastic band or two. It’s always handy to have a fastening to hand. I don’t remember how the button got there, but the beer top is probably from the cheeky Speckled Hen I had for my lunch yesterday - well, it was a sunny day and I’d had a busy morning’s pottering, so I earned it.

My tape measure is designed to clip to my belt, but it generally lives in one of my pockets. I’m always measuring and this one has a tiny spirit level on one side and a small yellow plastic tube, which appears to do nothing, on the other. The cloth is just that, a piece of cloth I keep to wipe my hands on and the E45 is to rub on my fingertips as all my pottering has made them very rough. There’s also a pack of Ibuprofen tablets for my back which aches constantly even with a regular dose.

The rest is rubbish; a couple of receipts from Wilkinson’s, a biscuit wrapper, and a cellophane packet which (until very recently) contained Pontefract cakes.Of course this is just a snapshot of my pocket life. On another day they could contain my small folding hammer, boiled sweet wrappers, the odd fiver, I've even found a stray sock on a few occasions. 

Thank god I don't have a handbag. Can you imagine what that would be like?


12 comments:

  1. Clare Pritchard on FB
    You want to see the bottom of my handbag!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Phil Ogden on FB
    Hahahaha...this REALLY made me laugh out loud, Andy. So many questions...

    ReplyDelete
  3. David Bell on FB
    Carrying a tube of E45 cream in your pocket is a wise move when it's stuffed with nails.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrew Height
      Rough hands David. Too much pottering.

      Delete
  4. Andy B D Bickerdike on FB
    I hope this is a combination of pockets.. If not who's your tailor?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrew Height
      Combats, shirt, gillet. Eleven pockets in all Andy. I am stylish these days.

      Delete
    2. Andy B D Bickerdike
      Contents of mine after a drunken night out.. A bit back.. Wasn't too drunk.
      Andy B D Bickerdike's photo.

      Delete
    3. Andrew Height
      What no beer bottle tops?

      Delete
  5. Samantha MacAree on FB
    Everything but the kitchen sink, lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrew Height
      If I could get it in I would Samantha.

      Delete
  6. Paul Whitehouse on FB
    You have mistaken KY Jelly for E45 Andrew Height. May get painful !!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Andrew Height
      Not as much as the nails Paul.

      Delete