Friday 29 August 2014

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

Increasingly I find myself angry. Oh, I contain it as well as I can most of the time, but sometimes I can feel it boiling away inside me and at my age I really don't like the feeling it leaves behind. It makes me feel guilty. It makes me far too much like my shouting, bullying, father and I don't want to look in the mirror and see him staring back.

Sometimes I feel angry at just about everything. Only for very short periods, but again it makes me feel exhausted with myself.

This week alone I've been angry with a defrosted freezer, defrosted when it shouldn't have been with all the waste entailed, the fact that it's one of those bloody frost free things (which I didn't want in the first place) and won't refreeze so may need replacing, the state of the car parking in the road (why do they let people dig up their gardens and make them into eyesores with cars?), my customers, the stupid American gun laws, stupid Americans, doctors, my friends, just about every politician that is still (unfortunately) drawing breath, but most of all with myself for being angry in the first place.

Sometimes I wish I was David Banner, at least he seemed to know when he was going to turn into the hulk, I seem to have no idea. It just happens. Perhaps I need anger management, or drugs, or something.

Anyway, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry... I don't even like myself.

6 comments:

  1. Sharon Taylor on FB
    calm down my dear..............

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    Replies
    1. Andrew Height
      If only it were a commercial. I'll get over it I'm just a little Grrrrrrrrrrr,

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    2. Sharon Taylor
      we all have those sort of days, tomorrow is another day, so put the Grrrrrrrrrr behind you x

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    3. Sharon Taylor
      or just Grrrrrr to the max!

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  2. Kevin Burke on FB
    Andy ..something to make you smile.. woke up this morning convinced I was still working fir you... I was back in the studio but not THE studio but somewhere else.. Where I don't know.. I had packed in my business and you and Andy Lloyd had agreed to take me back on.., on my first day I went missing and you were really angry with me and Andy Lloyd wouldn't talk to me.. I had to plead to keep my job... I've had this dream quite a few times know.. Perhaps with your life insight you can decode it for me?!

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    Replies
    1. Andrew Height
      I use dream imagery in my hypnotheraphy work Kevin. The subconscious is an interesting place. This dream is about unfinished business probably, something that you don't think completed, probably from the time you were mine and Andy Lloyd's lackey. Alternatively it could be a craving for Andy and I to dominate and humiliate you, you must have got some sort of kick from it. I was with Andy and a bunch of studio people including yourself in China last night. We were there to watch Mark McNicholas have a new dental treatment which made use of long silkworms that were inserted into his gums. Sleep well.

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