You can tell Autumn has arrived, the spiders are coming in through the plughole. That’s the thing about the countryside - it is full of live things. Conkers are meant to keep them away, they don’t like the smell. Last year the record was eight, I wonder if we’ll beat it this year. Now let’s see… nope, only three – I’ll just get a jar to catch them in, it’s not fair to kill them…‘There’s usually some in this big dish thing that the peoples make all wet in. I don’t know why they want to make themselves all wet but they do. Foodies and that Whirling Dervish Girl Thing hate those longedy-legly things. I love them. They are such fun to chase.
Now where are they?
Come out… come out… wherever you are. It’s me Misty, death of longedy-leglies.
Ah! There you are… three of you. Now don’t try to run away, you can run but you can’t hide – there’s nowhere to hide in this dish thing, and the sides are so slippery you can’t even climb out. You are doomed, doomed I tell you, DOOOOOMED, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAA!
Frying Fishcakes! Whatever came over me? For a moment I felt quite the terror – maybe I’m a meglomanicat, a Macatiavellian feline, Atilla the puss. Or perhaps I’ve a split personality – on one side nice Misty, sort of Dr Jekyll, and on the other nasty Misty, Mr Hyde… I don’t remember drinking any steaming green potions though.
Right here goes. Here I come… Itsy Bitsy spider Climbed up the water spout… SWIPE… That’s one… Down came the rain and washed the spider out… SWIPE…That’s two… Out came the sun and dried up all the rain… Just you left now – aren’t you a big one. I think I’ll have a little play with you… And Itsy Bitsy spider climbed up the spout again… Afraid not… Off you go, run away….SWIPE…oops-a-daisy, did I get you? SWIPE…he flies through the air with the greatest of ease, that long-legley thing with the multiple knees… SWIPE… Ah – looks like Itsy Bitsy really is all itsy bitsy, maybe that was a little too hard… he seems to be squashed flat.
Oh well, I was getting bored with that game anyway, ho-hum, waste not, want not…delicious!
Now how to I get out of this thing?’
Come on then spiders - let’s get you outside where you belong. Where are you? Where’ve you gone? They’ve gone. Probably climbed back down the plughole, I better put the plug in to stop them coming back. I wonder if that conker thing really works…
Go for it Misty. Get those nasty spiders. Eeeugh.
ReplyDeleteCat in the bath and plug in the hole. Surely you turned the taps on next.
ReplyDeleteI've heard this a lot recently, but apparently spiders don't like the smell of conkers. If you place them in each corner of your room you don't get any. Not sure if it's true though.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying it as I write - I have put conkers in the bath in Wales!
ReplyDeleteLynda Henderson commented on Facebook:
ReplyDelete"Wow ok then... must be a writer thing. Love the kitty."
Spiders don't come up through the plug hole. The reason you see them so often in the bath is because they crawl or abseil in but can find it hard to get out again. If you want to help them to escape, leave a towel hanging down the inside.
ReplyDeleteWhy would anyone want to help spiders escape? Apparently the conkers only work if they are this seasons.
ReplyDelete