30 days in November 20...

This is getting silly, today is:

Name your PC day

Now I’m not one for naming inanimate objects, I don’t give my car a name, or my phone, or the freezer, so why I should wish to name my computer? Well, frankly it doesn’t compute. I can understand why you would name that cat that comes around to visit twice a week or your teddy, but something is stopping me from showing the same respect to my computer even though I spend most of my time with it. Besides, if I were to pick a name for my machine and take our relationship to a new level, it probably would be a bit sweary given the way my tired old computer performs.

I guess that I might consider it if my computer interacted with me more. Spoke, expressed an opinion, complemented me on my hair; and I'm sure in the future when all devices have an inbuilt personality and voice then I will probably start naming household items. Freddy the fridge: "Can I make you some ice for that gin Andrew?" Clarice the cooker: "Do you want fries with that gorgeous?" Veronica the vacuum cleaner: "Let me clean up around here. You just down while I suck." But until that day comes my white goods and digital devices will go unbaptised.

Lots of people do name their computers though, geeks and techies and the like. Personally I blame ‘2001 a Space Odyssey’ and that bloody Hal, since then just about every computer in the movies and on TV has a name. No wonder it’s caught on in the real world.

Computer naming schemes are commonplace in the office environment. At the studio I used to run we had a series of printers named Harpo, Zeppo, Chico, Groucho, Gummo and Karl. Karl was a latecomer and printed mainly in red. I know someone who has named his servers after Simpson’s characters and someone else who has named his electronic devices after Star Trek characters; what a wag, beam me up Scotty.

If I were to name a series of computers I would probably name them after cheeses. I like cheese and Camembert, Stilton, Gouda and Stinking Bishop seem like particularly good names for computers just as long as they don’t get eaten by their mice.

So what would I name my computer if I were to do so? That’s easy I would name it Dave after my dear father, right Hal?