Thursday, 3 February 2011

Rabbit and Rooster...

Today is the start of the Chinese New Year and this year is the year of the Rabbit. Oh why, oh why, couldn’t I have been born in the Year of the Rabbit instead of the Rooster like I was?

Apparently people born in the Year of the Rabbit have it all. They are articulate, talented, and ambitious, and virtuous, and reserved, and have excellent taste. In fact they are so damned good that the list of their plus points just goes on and on; not only are they universally admired, trusted, and usually very lucky financially, but they seem to have no downside other than they like a good gossip. Even then they are tactful and generally kind, so it doesn’t usually amount to out and out bitching just friendly speculation and some minor tittle-tattle.

Worst of all though is that these bloody perfect Rabbits, with their long pointy ears and sticky out teeth, hardly every lose their flaming tempers. Damn them! They’re clever at business, conscientious and never back out of a contract. They are totally trustworthy, goodie-goodie, smiley, got-it-alls. Sounds to me like they’d make good gamblers, especially as they have this uncanny gift of choosing exactly the right thing, but they don’t gamble. There are more lottery Rabbit winners than any other sign, but oh no, not them. They are too good to gamble, they are conservative and they are wise, not like us poor Roosters.

Yes I admit it, I’m a Rooster; born in 1957, the year that Harold Macmillan became the Prime Minister. He was a Rooster too. People like hapless Harold and me, Rooster people, are deep thinkers. We’re pretty capable, and some might say talented, but we try for things that are way beyond our capabilities and end up deeply, doomy, disappointed when we fail; which we invariably do.

Often we’re a bit eccentric. Actually a lot of us verge on the stark raving bonkers (but if you read my blog then you already know that), which is probably why we seem to often have quite difficult relationship issues with others. Our problem is that we always think they we right, but only because we usually are! Outwardly it might seem that we get on well with people, but we’re frequently loners and although we give the outward impression of being adventurous, we are actually pretty timid. So to hide our basic inadequacies and hatred of everyone around us we run around being busy and getting things done whilst our emotions, like our fortunes, swing very high and then very low, smashing to the ground in a pile of shattered debris.

Poor us.

Yes, Rooster people like me are bi-polar, argumentative, bolshy, introverts who are usually selfish and far too outspoken. On the up side we are almost always interesting and can be extremely brave when we have to be – or so I am told.

Up there with the great and good in their wonderfully perfect fluffy bunny Rabbit world are people like Angelina Jolie, Tina Turner, Albert Einstein, Leon Trotsky, Frank Sinatra, and my old friend Orson Welles. Whilst down in the dumps scratching around with us Roosters in the dirt are Emperor Akihito, D.H. Lawrence, Goldie Hawn, Errol Flynn, Peter Ustinov, who were all cocking at their own doodle-doo to some degree or other, and of course me – and it’s all about me.

Oh well, Rooster or Rabbit it’s better than being a Snake.


  1. Hi akh...

    It looks like you googled the same horoscope site I did for your research... unless it's all true of course (the things you learn...)

    Fessing up to 1957 does finally give me the chance to ask this "If my friend A.K. was born in 1957, can I call him an AK57?" which I've been waiting an age to use...

    On the plus side, if you were a robbit you'd be a sixty year old rabbit, so there's a downside to it...


  2. Everything you need to know about horoscopes

  3. Goldie Hawns not dead.

  4. Barbara Balding commented on Facebook.
    "I'm a Dragon!"

  5. Greetings from a Rabbit, your mortal enemy. =)