Remember Mr Shouty, that wholly fictitious character that’s
always right and bears no resemblance to any person living or dead? Well, after
a long break he popped back into our fictitious lives the other day like a bad
penny that’s been used to buy too many lies.
He’s been ill poor thing. One day he got so shouty that his
head exploded. Well, he was asking for it with his shouty ways. It hasn’t shut
him up though. He still shouts at everything and everybody, it’s just that now
he has an excuse for it. After all, everyone shouts after they’ve been ill don’t
they? Well, the answer to that one Mrs fictitious Shouty is no. Stop making fictitious
excuses for him; because just what was his bloody ficticious excuse before his
head exploded?
Mr Shouty has an excuse for everything though. His excuse
for sliding his slimy way back into our fictitious lives was ‘concern’. He
probably bought it with that bad penny of his. Of course he didn’t come
directly, that would be far too honest. Instead Mr Shouty started phoning
someone that didn’t want to be shouted at; someone old, ill and frail who is
far too polite to tell him to bugger off. We all know why he’s been doing it –
he likes to keep in touch, particularly when he knows he isn’t welcome and that
he might stir things up a little with his pudding spoon.
Of course he justifies and wraps up his behaviour with all
sorts of nonsense. But it doesn’t change anything, he’s still Mr Shouty and Mr
Shouty doesn’t like being asked to stop upsetting fictitious old ladies -
particularly by a fictitious daughter in law…
“I’M SORRY, YOU DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I’LL CALL ANYBODY I
WANT AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME. I’VE NEVER
BEEN SO INSULTED IN ALL MY LIFE. I’LL
CALL THE POLICE ABOUT THIS. THE POLICE I
SAY! THE POLICE! THE POLICE! THE POLICE!”
And I hope that it chokes you Mr Shouty.
ReplyDeleteFraser Stewart on FB
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of this fictitious character but I can imagine a few people like that in real life.
Andrew Height
ReplyDeleteHe's appeared before Fraser.
Fraser Stewart
ReplyDeleteI'm really sheltered, aren't I.
Andrew Height
ReplyDeleteI doubt that.
Fraser Stewart
ReplyDeleteI know nothing. Nothing.
Andrew Height
ReplyDeleteTrust me. You never want to meet him Fraser, even if he is fictitious.
Fraser Stewart
ReplyDeleteI'm deaf. I can switch off my hearing aids. Can't hear you//ha!
Lindsey Messenger
ReplyDeleteNasty Mr Shouty..... x
Andrew Height
ReplyDeleteHe's a fictional worm. Actually Lindsey he's not just nasty he's sick - and I'm not talking about his stroke. If he wasn't a fictional character he should be locked away. Even worse is that Mrs Shouty defends him when everybody knows that he's treated her like a dog for years. Worse still is that other people decide that it's all okay. It isn't. Well, my fictional wife decided to draw the line when her fictional mother (just out of two weeks of hospital with fictional kidney problems and near diabetic coma) decided that she didn't need him contacting her after all the things that Mrs Shouty told her one Boxing Day. Scaring old ladies, even fictional ones, isn't what grown-up men do. It's easy to stand up to him if you understand what he's like and I'll continue to do that regardless of his threats, calls to the police, cutting his granddaughters off, and writing me out of his fictional will. After all - it's not real, he isn't even a real person.
Tim Preston on FB I
ReplyDeletets Jeremy Vine isnt it. Some of the stuff he says is so unbelieveable its hilarious. Hes just out there to annoy you and make you react. Saddo.
Andrew Height
DeleteMr Shouty is actually far more devious and evil than that Tim. But I agree he is without doubt a saddo - haven't heard that term in years