Thursday, 7 May 2015

Election day...

I started the day with this post on Facebook.

The problem with political jokes is that some of them get elected! Here’s a few to get you laughing on Election Day regardless of how you vote…

Unlike a lot of people, I’m hoping that Cameron will get an overall majority. I reckon a Tory government is the only way we’ll get the real Spitting Image back on the telly.

What’s the difference between Ed Miliband and Ryan Giggs? One’s a fading left winger who’s upset his brother. The other is a footballer.

Nick Clegg walks into a bookshop and asks for a book on coalitions. The storekeeper says, ‘It's over there on the left... sorry, I mean the right... No! I tell a lie. We sold out.’

Nick Griffin has accused Nigel Farage of having racist immigration policies. If you ask me that's the pot calling the kettle... Actually, never mind.

So Alex Salmond resigned and Nicola Sturgeon became leader of the SNP. Which joker told them that leaders have to be named after fish?

Natalie Bennett is praying that Green Party voters don’t confuse the recycling bin with the ballot box in today’s election.

Leanne Wood said last week that Plaid Cymru supports the NHS because it has no vowels.

I really hope that you make your way to the booths to place your vote, it’s important. Not like the two bees who buzzed in through my window today with little pieces of paper in their hands. "Excuse me," one said, "we're a bit lost. We're looking for the pollen station."

So how am I voting? Apparently I exactly match the profile of the type of person who spoils their ballot paper. Yes, I tick all the right boxes.

Well, it might be a dark day dependent on who gets in this time around. I've thought long and hard about it and have come to the conclusion that none of the parties are ideal. In fact none of the parties are even halfway towards ideal. The problem is I don't trust any of them. Still I must vote so I have made my mind up.


  1. Tim Preston on FB
    Ah a diplomatist!

    1. Andrew Height
      I'm voting Cooper Tim.