A weighty matter...

I bought some fancy electronic scales today and weighed myself for the first time in five years. I wasn’t surprised, pleased, or disappointed by what they told me about my weight, but let’s just say I was grateful that they weren’t of the talking variety otherwise they would have screamed ‘Get off me you fat bastard!’

Of course in my youth there were weighing machines on every station platform, in chemists, there were even some on the high street. These were grand affairs with a slot for you to put your penny and a grey rubber platform for you to stand on. In those days bathroom scales weren’t very common and I don’t remember us having them as a child.

Anyway my new scales have shown me that by anybody’s standards I am clinically obese. I knew that anyway, the camera never lies, but by just how much I shall be keeping to myself and, instead of telling you my problem, I am going to focus on losing ‘a little weight’ and tell you how much I lose each month.

Of course if you like, and in the tradition of all summer fetes, you can guess my weight if you want.

Wish me luck.