It's the end...

So, it's the end of the world as we know it. Is it just me or does anybody else feel like they have stepped out of the 'real world' and into a movie? For years I've been watching movies where the world is hit by some huge disaster and I've come to really like them (it's the darkness in me I guess). The bigger the catastrophe the better I like it, asteroids, sun flares, shifts in the Earth's axis, weather, flood, ice, and of course the dreaded killer plague (usually accompanied by zombies), I love them all (as I watch with a smug little tongue-in-cheek half-smile on my face safe in the knowledge it's only make-believe). What bunkum, entertaining viewing but total nonsense. A virus that sweeps the world within weeks, killing some, leaving others, breaking down the social norm, people holed up in their own homes, martial law, the fabric of society slowly falling apart as people fight over toilet paper (as toilet paper contains a chemical that keeps the virus away and those that can't wipe their arses are doomed). Yes, all a bit silly but such a jolly jape (pass the popcorn please).

Of course, these movies usually end in one of two ways. The first is that the 'Hero' (the guy who warned the government that it was coming in the first place, only to be ignored completely) finds a way to save the world and all is well. The second is that everything goes to shit and mankind is destroyed (sometimes a small group of survivors don't die and - all rags and tatters like a not very good Goth band - are left to build a new and better world. Sometimes, but not always). There are, of course, variables and often the movie finishes all set up ready for 'Annihilation 2 - The Return of the Hand Sanitiser Plague'. It's never as good or as believable and by the time 'Annihilation 6 - the Last of the Sanitiser' has come along we've all pretty much given up watching.

Zombies are a must in many of these movies. Dehumanised, reanimated, dead victims of the virus who have usually forgotten how to walk and stumble around in packs trapping and eating the living. Some movies have tribes of roving 'bad guys' with guns and swords driving along dusty roads in rat rods or riding motorsickles doing pretty much what they want (looting, razing, pillaging and that other stuff that sounds like razing but contains a 'p' and not a 'z'). Sometimes this leads to very exciting crashes and explosions (cardboard boxes flying everywhere) and sometimes (just to raise a laugh from the audience) they simply run out of petrol. Either way, a civilised approach to the end of the world is the last thing on their infected minds, even the dreaded 'Accountant Gang' led by the Chancellor shows no mercy as they rampage across the land reducing interest rates in their wake. Not even the Bank Manager, Taxman and Local Priest are safe from these guys and have to face the torture of 'the cut of a thousand spreadsheets' as they go on their terrible way.

Anyway, I'm sure that you get the idea. One way or another society has fallen apart and survival has become the name of the game. It usually starts with stockpiling toilet rolls (no, not ever) but in most movies, the stores are soon pretty much empty and then the real game begins with people killing each other (in increasingly horrible ways) to get hold of a bag or two of Aldi pasta.

It's only a movie though, a bit of entertainment that lasts ninety minutes or so - but what a relief when it's over. Just another silly movie, it could never happen in real life, could it?

Maybe I should start watching comedies.