I'm David Bowie...

I know when to go out, and when to stay in, get things done...

Well, we are all David Bowie now aren't we? And if we're not, and don't have a good reason, then we bloody well should be. Of course, it remains our individual choice whether to wear a space helmet, a lightning flash, a clown suit, or a powder blue box jacket. But staying in? Well, do it or lose the right to go out at all. Stay in and get things done.

Bowie and Monty Python are good friends to have around if you are staying in. Both are regular visitors with me at the moment, these confined moments, when I feel a need to laugh and sometimes to cry in quick succession - Monty P. for the laughs, Bowie for the tears. That's the trouble with staying in, your feelings can become intense without the distraction of the wider world, too focused, too insular, too angered.

Apparently close confinement to your 'loved' ones can lead to increased disagreements and arguments (no it can't). I can see that because having kids around is bloody awful at the best of times as they are always saying 'are we there yet?' or 'I'm bored!' (No they don't). Well, yes we are there and if you are bored find something that won't make you bored (collect stamps or read or do the bloody hoovering - can't - can - can't - can - can't...). Husbands and wives, even girlfriends and boyfriends, are just the same (no sorry, I can't agree). I'd like to point out everyone is different especially if you are a girlie (just like my dear papa - it's confusing these days). It's all argument and angst in times of trouble, all part of being human I guess (no it isn't).

Cabin fever, that distressing claustrophobic irritability or restlessness experienced when a person, or group (maybe mounties or Hell's grannies), is stuck in an isolated location or confined to quarters for an extended period of time. It can make you be mean, and I, well, I'll drink all the time. It's tough staying in, mind you, it could be worse. For instance, you could be on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, in prison, in a care home, an asylum, sitting in a tin can far from the world, or even down in the sewer (who let the bloody stranglers in)? It can make you stir-crazy (no it can't), and in this context, the use of stir means 'prison' (no it doesn't, I stir my tea, tea isn't a prison, porridge maybe, but not tea, or gravy - I'm starvin' for me gravy). Well, here's the thing. Currently, we are not in prison or in a tin can (we are), we are staying home and home is a refuge and we should be able to 'make it so' as Captain Picard would say (Look it's getting a bit crowded in here what with David Bowie, that bloody Monty Python lot, The Stranglers and now Patrick (Picard) Stewart). But we do need to make it so and try not to argue (sorry?). We all have to find our new normal (no we don't - do - don't - do - don't...). Do you see how easy it is to slip into argument mode?

There's little more guaranteed to make you spiral into depression than continual argument. So instead of arguing do good stuff, maybe even together. Stuff like gardening or cooking, maybe playing scrabble, listening to Bowie, watching old comedy programmes on Youtube, or - if you really need and whilst we still can - go for a drive, that's fun (no it isn't).

Anyway, I think that's about it so I'll leave this here otherwise we'll argue (no, we won't). Some arguments are going to happen (not necessarily), but personally I'd rather argue a little than die or kill someone with my stupid selfish actions - don't go out, stay in, get things done. Stay cheerful folks, Monty Python might help (no it won't). 

Do you want the five-minute argument or the full half-hour?