I’ve always loved that collective noun thing when it’s
applied to animals; a school of whales, a murder of crows, a parliament of
magpies, a congregation of alligators. It all seems a bit random really. There
were no whales in class when I was at school, I have no idea why crows should
be linked with murder, a parliament of magpies (the thieving kind) seems to
make a little sense, and I avoid church as I don’t want to be eaten by
religion. Anyway, it got me thinking about what might be the collective noun for
everyday things like saucepans and cricket bats and it led me to write this little
bit of nonsense.
Collective noun
An outpouring of watering
cans,
A snippet of scissors,
A tedium of televisions,
An effervescence of fizzers.
A battery of pancakes,
A snippet of scissors,
A tedium of televisions,
An effervescence of fizzers.
A battery of pancakes,
A scholl of shoes,
A cricket of boxes,
A sniffing of glues.
A monty of pylons,
A cricket of boxes,
A sniffing of glues.
A monty of pylons,
A tickle of ties,
A number of buses,
A slither of lies.
A band of bandages,
A number of buses,
A slither of lies.
A band of bandages,
A cradle of caps,
A drizzle of lemons,
A rattle of taps.
A drizzle of lemons,
A rattle of taps.
Paul Whitehouse
ReplyDeleteA handful of wankers!
Andrew Height
Nice one Paul.
Andrew Height
Any others out there?
Paul Whitehouse
A griddle of chefs
Andrew Height
Thinking of your barbecue there Paul?
Like · Reply · 12 hrs
Lorna Gleadell
a fizzle of fireworks
Andrew Height
Liking that!
Nick Jones
A crock of Tories.
Paul Whitehouse
A fungus of bin-men
Nick Jones
A swarm of Conservatives.
Andrew Height
Good to see you in the fray Nick.
Paul Whitehouse
A mission of evangelists
Nick Jones
A collection of nouns.
Paul Whitehouse
A pastiche of pretenders
Andrew Height
You are on fire boys!
Andrew Height
A bonfire of boys.
Lorna Gleadell
a disaster of rugby players..............
Paul Whitehouse
An upgrade of IT specialists
Like · Reply · 11 hrs
Paul Whitehouse
A patchouli of hippies
Paul Whitehouse
A knoll of assassins
Lorna Gleadell
a harley of rockers
Paul Whitehouse
Lorna Gleadell
a scooter of mods
Paul Whitehouse
Love that one Lorna ! Best so far !
Lorna Gleadell
Aw thanks
Paul Whitehouse
A typo of directories!
Lorna Gleadell
an emulsion of whitehouses !!
Lorna Gleadell
a fear of heights
Paul Whitehouse
A meaning of existentialists
Lorna Gleadell
A doone of lornas............... ha ha ha
Paul Whitehouse
A wookie of friendly monsters
Paul Whitehouse
A libel of solicitors
Paul Whitehouse
A frozen of princesses
Lorna Gleadell
a prosecution of judges
Nick Jones
A schloo of dyslexics.
Paul Whitehouse
An endeavour of TV detectives
Nick Jones
A shitload of nappies.
Lorna Gleadell
a cut of plasters
Lorna Gleadell
an annoyance of husbands
Glyn Bailey
A twat of Tories
Paul Whitehouse
A maniac of ....(fill in the blank)
Lorna Gleadell
schizophrenics !!
Paul Whitehouse
Love that one Lorna!
Nick Jones
A type of diabetes.
Lorna Gleadell
a giggle of tickles
Andrew Height
bit of politics there Glyn.
Andrew Height
Glad to see you getting in your minds into gear. You really are a faggot of brains. My work here is now done.