Thought for the day…

I sometimes listen to thought for the day on the radio, positive tales from positive people who can take the most negative of subjects and turn them around so that by the time they’ve finished their five minute slot I’m left with an unexpected smile and a warm glow that isn’t explainable by booze. Well, not just booze alone.

These speakers seem to be able to put a shine on anything. Even death isn’t that bad once they’ve polished it up, pointing out that it’s the life lived that counts, not the ending; which is a little like saying that falling from a plane is a lot like flying – at least until you hit the ground.

I wonder what Death thinks about that as he wanders the world with his egg-timer and scythe? They say that all publicity is good publicity, but maybe Death would prefer not to have a positive spin put upon his life’s work – if that’s the applicable terminology for what Death does. Besides, maybe Death wants to be dreaded, perhaps that’s his preferred self-image, his raison-d’etre, the legend he’s built up over an infinite number of lunchtimes – supposing that Death does lunch.

By the way if you ever bump into Death and he mentions that ‘we must do lunch some time’ – run like hell.

And what about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - War, Famine, Pestilence, and er… Death again.

What do they think about each of their own particular brand of grey cloud being relined with a veneer of silver by some inspirational speaker on breakfast radio? I don’t think that Famine would be too keen, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t do breakfast, and I’m almost certain that War and Pestilence hardly ever remove their helmet visors and slip on a pair of rose tinted glasses. As for Death, well, I’ve already done Death to – um, death.

Mind you, as I’m back on the subject - interesting that Death works well both on his own and in a team. I hope he has that as a key skill on his curriculum vitae along with harvester of souls and ‘long grass scythed’. Well, it never does any harm to have a back-up plan just in case dieing should go out of fashion at some point. After all who knows what they’ll come up with next.

Now I’m sure that if you look hard enough you can see the positive in just about anything. But sometimes looking for the positive can be such a negative experience. Geeing yourself up to pretend that you really don’t mind all the disaster that’s happening to you because - ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ is so not so. My guess is that it all depends on your definition of strong. So if your definition of strong is a cringing, wobbly, sobbing, hysterical, ball of despondent, deflated, panic - then I guess that particular bon-mot might just work with me.

Anyway, here’s my thought for the day for all those multi-denominational, well prepared, positive spinners on morning radio. Please keep your positive thoughts to yourself, you may be about to cause Armageddon.

Spin that shit shiny if you can.