Hammered...

I don’t really like authority and I don’t react well to being told what to do. I expect it comes from a childhood where I was constantly ordered about, told what to do, and punished when I didn’t do as I was commanded. It had an effect on me to say the least and one of those effects was to turn me into the sort of person I hated so much. For years I told people what to do. At times I even believed I was right. Now, after so long trying to get my own way I realise just how pointless that is. 

Making people do as you want achieves nothing. If they aren’t with you then they aren’t with you and no amount of persuasion, threats, or bulling will change that. Bribes might work in the short term, but it still doesn’t work ultimately.

Of course this makes things difficult and generally the way I deal with difficult things is to fight against them. Well, after a lifetime of fighting my corner and failing to get very far I’m pretty tired of it. Even more tiring than losing is the knowledge that I can’t really change anything no matter how hard I try. People and the organisations they belong to know how to deal with people like me. They have processes, procedures, strategies. They know how to tie things up in jargon, red tape, and evidence. They are prepared to ignore the truth, embellish, and even lie to come out of it on top. They know how to tell me what to do – and of course they can always call the police. 

It’s demoralising.

At this point I suppose I should say that even so I will never give up. But that isn’t true. Increasingly I give up, increasingly I don’t even start. Knowing that you are wasting your time and breath is a great moderator in much the same way that a hammer beating a nail into its place moderates the nail’s behaviour and purpose.

Yes, I give up but I won’t be beaten. Keep hammering, I’m a pretty tough nail.