Wednesday 10 August 2016

Mr Shouty shouts 'STOP'...

It’s a strange world and there are lots of strange people in it. I expect that there are some who are convinced that they are Mr Shouty even when I’ve gone to great lengths to tell the world that Mr Shouty is a purely fictitious character invented by me and bears no resemblance to anyone living or dead. Just why anybody would claim to be Mr Shouty is beyond me. Let’s face it the fictitious Mr Shouty is a nasty, bullying, angry, not very bright, idiot of a fictitious man and not really somebody for anyone to relate to at all. As I said, there are lots of strange people in the real world, but Mr Shouty isn’t one of them. He’s not real, not living in the real world and he’s a fiction.

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Mr Shouty wants it to STOP. He’s not really sure what IT is or why it should STOP, but that’s what he wants and he’s dealing with it in his usual way by SHOUTING. Of course it would be better for him to think about things and see if he couldn’t make IT STOP without shouting. But he doesn’t work like that. The tiny cogs in his tarnished mind click away building up his anger until he simply has to SHOUT AND SHOUT AND SHOUT. The fact that people no longer listen to him and those few that do only listen out of a false sense of loyalty, fear, or because they simply enjoy seeing him so shouty just hasn’t occurred to him. Those cogs really do move exceedingly slowly.

STOP, STOP, STOP I TELL YOU. IF YOU DON’T STOP I’LL CALL THE POLICE AND THEY’LL MAKE YOU STOP OR MY NAME’S NOT TOM PEPPER. IF YOU DON’T STOP I’LL SHOUT AND SHOUT UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS TO ME, YOU SEE IF I DON’T. I WON’T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS. I’M NOT A FOOL YOU KNOW. STOP TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT ME, STOP MAKING ME A LAUGHING STOCK, JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I’LL SWING FOR YOU, JUST SEE IF I DON’T.

Of course he’s only shouting at himself. That’s what he’s been doing all of his fictitious life. He might blame others for the nasty shouty character that he is, bu­­t really he is of his own making, he just won’t accept the responsibility because nothing must ever be Mr Shouty’s fault must it? That’s his problem. He can’t accept or even consider that he might be wrong so he SHOUTS and SHOUTS and SHOUTS until people give in and agree that he is right. It’s never, ever anything to do with him. It’s always someone else even though it almost always isn’t.

IT’S YOU, IT’S HIM. IT’S HER, IT’­­S THEM I TELL YOU! NOT ME! I AM BLAMELESS. I’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG, NOT EVER IN MY EMPTY FICTITIOUS LIFE. I’VE NEVER LIFTED A FINGER AGAINST ANYONE, NEVER PLAYED A DIRTY TRICK, NEVER LIED, CHEATED, STOLE, BULLIED OR FORCED ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING THEY DIDN’T WANT TO. I AM BLAMELESS I TELL YOU. IT’S YOU, IT’S HER. IT’S HIM, IT’S THEM. THEY ARE ALL AGAINST ME.

STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!

Yes, for once you are right Mr Shouty*. They are all against you and I wonder why? Perhaps you should take a long look in your fictitious mirror and listen to the shouted words that come out of your fictitious mouth. You might be surprised to see how thoroughly unpleasant you actually are. Maybe you’ll see and hear what others see and hear when they look and listen to you. All of this is down to you and your anger you see. You can’t spend a lifetime, even a fictitious one, taking your own failure out on others and expecting them put up with you. Eventually they all see past your forced and faked outward appearance and see you for what you are inside. Even fictitious people living in a fictitious world aren’t that stupid and you let yourself slip so often. Perhaps it is you who should stop.

Anyway, thank God you aren’t real and that I just made you up.

*Anyone thinking that they are Mr Shouty or that this character bears any resemblance to anybody living or dead is deluded.

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