Government bans farting...

As a boy I used to read The Beano.

Dennis The Menace, Billy Whizz, Minnie The Minx, Roger The Dodger, The Bash Street Kids. Hours and hours of reading fun in a comic that cost a tanner.

I don’t remember when I gave up reading it, probably when I switched to The Hornet, but I’ve dabbled over the years and read one or two; even bought a Summer Special when a moment of unfettered madness grabbed me by my grey little soul. Not for a while now though.

These days The Beano costs £2.20. So when my mum-in-law was given a free copy in her paper I decided that I might as well take a look. Now I’m not sure who The Beano is aimed at these days but it entirely appealed to me. The issue was one long story about farting, each character’s strip continuing from the previous one. The basic premise was that a new roller coaster would be built in town if only the Mayor would agree to it. Of course everyone was thrilled, everyone except Walter, the leader of the softies, that is. Now the Mayor hated farting so Walter decided that he would become the Phantom Farter and try to get the roller coaster stopped…

TOOT!

As I said, it entirely appealed to me – well farting jokes are absolutely the best aren’t they?

I was engrossed for a good ten minutes as I read from cover to cover. I smiled at the awful puns, was intrigued by the artwork, made nostalgic by the well-remembered characters, and I fell in love with The Beano all over again.

FERPPP!

Of course The Beano is a little bit more edgy these days. Lame, awesome, pants, dude, epic, whatevers, and app are just some of the words I dont remember from my childhood comics.  Political references to the Prime Minister making everybody miserable is not something I remember from my childhood Beano either; although a good farting story is universal to small boys of all ages, so maybe I am actually part of the comic’s target audience.  Yes, although the characters looked and behaved pretty much the same as they always have there was definitely something else going on in that comic - I’m not quite sure what though.

PAAAARRRRP!

If I were pushed and had to pick a single word to describe The Beano today that word would probably be ‘subversive’, although I’d probably attach a ‘mildly’ in front of it.

TRUMMMP!

Anyway, short story even shorter; there was a voucher inside to get a pound off the next edition which means I can have my next copy for just £1.20. It seems ungrateful not to take DC Thomson up on the offer and besides, in the name of research, I need to check that The Beano isn’t actually inciting young boys into becoming subversive with its disruptive story-lines and ideas for pranks.

RRRIPP!

That would be too awful wouldn’t it? It could lead anywhere, even to anarchy, and I’m sure that the Prime Minister wouldn't like that at all. No he'd have to set the thought police on it and dumb it down, just like his government is doing with everything else from Twitter to speaking about your beliefs in public.

PPHART!