Friday, 19 June 2015

With a sleep...

I’m not sure that contentment is good for me. Sometimes I am so content I feel asleep, sometimes I actually fall asleep. Other times it feels like my life is a dream and I am just dreaming it away.

Who knows, perhaps I am, as Shakespeare so eloquently wrote (well almost), such stuff. As dreams are made on; and my little life. Is rounded with a sleep.

I've been dreaming the past a lot recently, I thought I was over it but it's back. Perhaps it’s time to reinvent myself again, maybe that’s what I need to make me awake. These days I'm not scared to completely fail, it allows me to try things that I have no experience of and find out if I like them. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t, but at least I don’t have to worry how it looks on my CV. Anyway, I really don’t have an active CV, I have no need of one; and what does it matter what others think of me?

What could I be? Should I be Prospero drowning his books? I could be. Sometimes I feel like an exile living on a remote island singing madly away to myself - merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. And if I’m dreaming, then maybe the people around me are the ‘stuff’ that dreams are ‘made on’, just two dimensional characters, players that plays are built from. Maybe my life is a play playing in somebody else’s mind, my little life just a brief dream in something else’s sleep. And what if they awake? Will I cease to exist or move on into a truer dream – one of my own?

And will I dream about them? After all, they will be my past.

Yes, I need a truer dream. I’m not ready to wake up yet... Or to fall asleep.

2 comments:

  1. Tim Preston on FB
    I love that quote. it's such a gentle view of life turning to death. In Macbeth it is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing. I think (I'm probably wrong) that you view people that are contented with life as grinning fools always with some superficial smile. I think there a lot of people like this but there is a deeper joy to be discovered by those ready to think the unthinkable and destroy their ego. To defeat oneself is the greatest victory. Yes the world is an illusion. It is forever changing and once we think we have a grasp on it, it slips through our fingers as though it didn't exist. If you cling to it you despair - and no your life is only playing in your own mind because you are the center of the universe in the same way that I am. It has something to do with Einstien's Theory of Relativity but I haven't quite figured that out yet - I hope this makes sense, I've had a few beers - enjoy the dream - yours is very interesting and funny

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    1. Andrew Height
      Thanks Tim. The only fool in mt dream is me and I don't exist anyway except in somebody else's dream.

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