Living in a soap...

When I was little I wanted to be an astronaught despite the fact that back then the pilots of the Gemini space capsules were sitting in what was basically a tin can with a bomb beneath it. Yes, those early astronaughts had a dangerous job to do; not all that dangerous compared to some though. The most dangerous job is not, as you might expect, astronaught, bomb disposal expert, steeplejack, or Formula One racing driver. The most dangerous job seems to be having a role in one of the UK’s most well known soaps.

The average life expectancy of a UK soap character is 52. In the real world in the UK it’s 80. Staying alive in a television soap opera is not easy, deaths in soap operas are almost three times more likely to be from violent causes than would be expected from a character’s age and sex outside of the world of television.

During Coronation Street’s long life, there have been 146 deaths, ranging from natural causes to murder, disasters, accidents and the occasional suicide. May Hardman was first when she died alone at number 13 from an inoperable brain tumour on 30^th December 1960. Sunita was last when Karl Munro removed her breathing tube – allegedly. But that won’t last long with Karl still at large.

A character in EastEnders is twice as likely as a character in Coronation Street to die during an episode. But who cares? They are all so bloody miserable they deserve to pop their ‘cats and dogs’.

Emmerdale is even worse for its frequent and dramatic deaths, coming second only to Brookside among British soaps. Remember the plane crash in 1993 that killed all the passengers plus four key characters and what about poor Tricia Dingle who was killed when the woolpack’s chimney fell and crushed her?

Brookside must have been the most dangerous place on earth to live. In the twenty-one years that Brookside ran for it clocked up an enviable death count of 72 humans, six dogs, six chickens, two rats, a cat, and a goldfish!

So, what are the key messages for aspiring soap stars here? Well, it seems that characters in soap operas lead very dangerous lives, even more dangerous than deep sea fishermen and professional stunt men. Most people suffering from a life-threatening disease have better five year survival rates than soap characters.

I wonder… could the exaggerated violence of soap world and the dangerous lives of soap characters be contributing to our perceptions about violent crime and death?

I’ll have a think about that one. I can feel a rich vein of blogging material coming on…