Flat number four...

Ah, a puncture!

It was my wife that spotted the nail sticking out of the side of the tyre. A grey nail, like the ones they use in the roofing trade. Not the short stubby ones, the longer ones that they use for things other than they use the short stubby ones for.

‘Not another puncture.’ I thought.

Then I remembered that in thirty years of driving and a yearly mileage that was at times in excess of 45,000 miles I have only ever had 3 other punctures. Not bad going I think.

The first was in Pevensey in the seventies when an unlicensed, uninsured and altogether silly me had a flat whilst on a camping holiday with friends. We had no jack so had to wait for a friendly passing motorist to give us a hand. Luckily one soon came along and changed the tyre for us while we stood around watching just how to do it..

My second was on my way to Scarborough. I had a Laguna at the time and the flat happened somewhere along the A64. Luckily I was able to get it off the road and into a quiet cut-out before spending the next hour trying to get the locking wheel nuts off. Luckily this time the jack was where it was meant to be and, with the help of the car manual, I succeeded eventually and managed to continue on my way - all dirty hands, my suit trousers filthy at the knees, and my tie askew.

The third was as we were descending the mountain in Llithfaen in North Wales. I struck a rock that had tumbled from the wall and the tyre began to hiss immediately. By the time we reached the bottom by the bridge the tyre was almost flat and this time there was no way I could move the locking wheel nut. I called the AA who sent out a local garage after a couple of long, long hours. They couldn’t remove it either, so they towed us to the garage in Pwllheli where they broke two special tools and eventually had to cut off the nut with an acetylene torch.

This time it wasn’t so bad. We changed the tyre, putting on the emergency spare that looked ridiculously small, and took it to our friendly tyre chap who replaced it. Apparently tyres with nails in the side are not allowed to be repaired by law so it was a complete replacement. So that’s flat number four and at that price I hope I wait another ten years for number five.