Model aeroplanes...

I was rubbish when it came to making model aeroplanes, glue everywhere and I didn't have the patience to wait for the 'decals' to float off in that saucer of clean water they recommended. I always managed to crease them as I lifted them out and there’s nothing worse than a creased swastika on some Fokker or other.

My dad on the other hand was meticulous and insisted on 'helping'. His helping was to do it for me and he got huge pleasure from building a foot long Lancaster bomber with rear gunner and everything. It was my job to paint it. He wasn't at all pleased when I decided to paint it purple and white – I couldn’t understand why. After all, self expression is what it is all about isn’t it?

Airfix – well, with all that glue, it was a high likelihood and combined with those tiny pots of paint no wonder I ended up with badly made, very bright, psychedelic planes hanging from my bedroom ceiling on bits of fishing line.

The instructions used to drive me crackers too, what with those exploded drawings and yards and yards of tiny text. Most times, a few numbered steps in, I gave up and trusted in my own ability to work these things out. It led to some very interesting models and a couple of times I even managed to use some of the injection moulded plastic runners, you know the ones that the ‘real’ parts were attached to. I usually managed to break a couple of key parts detaching them from those runners. Maybe I should have used a modelling knife to cut them away rather than twisting the part around and around until it eventually broke free leaving half of the part behind.

Yes, the world’s best modeller I was not and then I discovered flat-pack furniture – but that’s another story.