What if our universe is just a bowl of minestrone and the
Earth simply a tiny particle of carrot whirling around in it?
The latest theory from those really clever astrophysicist
types is that the universe has only two dimensions and that we add the third by
reading the two dimensions and imposing a third, a little like the way
holograms work. They say that in theory we are living in a hologram and that
there are only two planes, not three, and certainly not four - despite what you
might have seen on fifties television.
Imagine that. It would mean that the earth was flat,
buildings would actually look more like the fake painted cut-outs used in Hollywood movies, and even our bodies would have all the
dimensional quality of a cartoon character. Just where would our organs go
without a three dimensional space to occupy and where would we sit if houses
had no rooms to sit in?
Quantum Physics eh? You need the brain the size of a planet
or plenty of hallucinatory drugs to understand even the basic theories, like
relativity. Of course it’s all string theory to me – whatever that is.
Sometimes I wonder who comes up with these things and why
they bother. Isn’t it enough to look up at the night sky and ponder the beauty
and the mystery out there? Why would we want to explain it away and is it
explainable anyway?
Other times I wonder if the theories these great minds
impart aren’t simply taken up by the universe and, in the words of Captain
Jean-Luc Picard, ‘made so’ in some kind of cosmic game of predict and catch-up.
That would explain how so many science fiction writers predict so many science
facts before they happen.
Perhaps 10cc have got it right and life (and the universe and all that)
is a minestrone and we are caught up in its cosmic soup. If so, then forget going to heaven because if they are right about life then
chances are that death must be a cold lasagna served up with Parmesan cheese - plenty of black pepper on mine please Satan.
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