Cheese and cucumber...

The salad days are here; at last my toms have grown to a size where they can be sliced and my first cucumber has finally arrived. Perhaps I’ll eat them with a nice piece of white Stilton. How I love cheese, especially white Stilton or a very mature Cheddar.

Cheddar, Gorgonzola, Brie, Cheshire, Danish Blue, Wensleydale, Parmesan, Edam - I wonder just how many types of cheese there are in the world? The French are meant to lead the cheese stakes with three different cheeses for each day of the year. Mind you, we British have 700 named cheeses – that isn’t to be sniffed at.

I once visited a cheese farm in Holland and bought a huge Gouda and an even bigger Edam. The two Dutch staples were taken home where they lasted and then languished for months before the remainder eventually being thrown away. In America I found it hard to find a decent cheese. Most cheese tasted like plastic and shone like wax. I’m sure that they have good cheese in the States, but I still have no idea what Monterey Jack should really taste like.

Not everyone likes cheese and there’s no cheese made in Japan, where it seems that cheese isn’t big – surprising given that they eat pretty much everything else including whale. I hear that the cheese made in Bhutan is unbelievably rich and creamy. It isn’t exported and it’s a bit of a trek to get it so I doubt that I’ll ever taste it other than in my dreams. In my nightmares I’ve eaten Casu Marzu, a Sardinian cheese containing live insect larvae – maggots to you and I.

Just why would you eat maggots knowingly? Perhaps, I’ll save my cucumbers and tomatoes and eat them in a sandwich with the crusts cut off.

All I need is a sunny day.